


Loona After Dark

by loonagarbage



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 23:47:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonagarbage/pseuds/loonagarbage
Summary: Collection of smut oneshots from the girl group Loona.ExPLICIT do not read if you're a minor!!! like please





	1. "Good" [CHUUVES]

**Author's Note:**

> ~comments are greatly appreciated~

* * *

Sooyoung took a deep, much needed breath, lowering herself to the wooden floor of the practice room and leaning against the wall. Her joints ached and her head was swimming from over exertion. She knew she needed a break, probably the most familiar with her limits in all of her subunit. The others seemed less affected. Chaewon put up her hair and wiped a bead of sweat away from her brow, and Hyejoo took a few sips from her water bottle on the other side of the room, while Jiwoo couldn’t have seemed less bothered. Sooyoung tilted her head at the lively girl, wondering how she always seemed to have so much energy.

Their schedules had been absolutely packed the last few weeks, with returning from Hungary after their MV shoot, practicing the new choreography nonstop, appearing on music shows and doing advertisements, they were nearly running themselves ragged, but having almost nonstop fun along the way. The group really did mesh well, even though they bickered sometimes. Once when Sooyoung had pointed that out, Jiwoo had refuted it effortlessly by saying “all siblings bicker!” and Sooyoung’s heart fluttered from the sweetness of that sentiment. Though something else also fluttered inside her, because she didn’t always feel like comparing herself to Jiwoo’s “sibling” was quite correct. Not when she felt... other things every now and then, too.

Jiwoo sighed, fiddling with her bangs in the mirror. “That was good, guys! I really love this choreo.” She smiled broadly at nothing in particular, at the situation or the company she kept, perhaps.

Hyejoo sighed lightly, sitting cross-legged on the floor and seeming particularly drained, “It’s nice. Do you think we could take a break though?” She looked to Sooyoung, their leader, who usually decided which direction their practice sessions went. The older girl just wordlessly nodded and Hyejoo’s shoulders relaxed further.

Jiwoo pouted, spinning on her heel to face the rest of her subunit, “Ok, but after do you think we could do another dance? Maybe?”

Chaewon raised an eyebrow, “Like from another group?”

“Yeah! Wouldn’t that be kinda fun? Yaknow, to mix it up?” There was something behind Jiwoo’s eyes that Sooyoung noticed and recognized. They always had that glint whenever Jiwoo already had something in mind - when she had a plan but didn’t outright say it. Sooyoung narrowed her eyes at the girl but she was too distracted to notice.

Hyejoo shrugged, “I guess. Have anything in mind?”

The faintest trace of a blush came to Jiwoo’s cheeks, and if you hadn’t been paying attention like Sooyoung had, it could’ve been easily dismissed as a flush of skin from the exercise. But Sooyoung knew that wasn’t what it was. And she was instantly intrigued, leaning slightly forward and forcing herself to her feet, despite her protesting joints.

“Um, yeah, uh, have any of you heard Hyolyn’s new song?” She was avoiding everyone’s eyes, but trying to make it seem like she was distracted by her phone. She wasn’t.

Sooyoung stepped closer, hoping to draw Jiwoo’s gaze, but the girl was adamant on not looking at anyone, “Dally?”

Jiwoo flinched visibly at the confirmation, “Yep! It’s good!”

Of course Sooyoung had heard it. And of course she knew the choreography. She felt a small rush of heat spread through her whole body at even the thought of it. The eldest girl had been... bottling up quite a lot of urges lately, not having any sort of outlet for them. Her schedule had been so consistently packed, and sharing a room with these girls never really provided an opportunity for... any sort of release. Most of the urges just manifested into dreams that made her shoot awake in the middle of the night, panting and flustered and again, with no outlet. Sometimes it made her irritable and she’d accidentally snap at the girls she cared so much about. Dally had definitely been one of those things that stirred up the urges, and for some reason, the fact that Jiwoo had not only seen it but also wanted to do the choreo was... making Sooyoung start to tingle.

Chaewon and Hyejoo, however, hadn’t heard the song or seen the video, as they confessed. Jiwoo was blushing more and more the longer this was the topic of conversation. Sooyoung crossed her arms, cocking her head at the younger girl, and when Jiwoo finally met her eyes, her face fell ever so slightly. Sooyoung’s expression was... different from any time she’d seen it before. She wasn’t sure what word to put to it besides perhaps... predatorial? It sent a sole chill up her spine, but she did her best to ignore it.

“Um, it’s sort of hard - different from anything we’ve done before, so I think it’d be good practice!” Jiwoo explained, pulling the song up on her phone and walking toward the speakers.

Sooyoung felt her heartbeat quicken. Was she really going to do the choreo? To _Dally_? Jiwoo? She couldn’t help the slight smile that came to her face, and she decided to play dumb.

“I’ve heard the song but I haven’t seen the video.” Sooyoung said cooly, loving the way she could see Jiwoo tense when the girl realized nobody else in the room had seen the choreography before. To make matters worse, Sooyoung decided to actually utilize her “leader” role, something she didn’t often do, and more or less give Jiwoo an order, “Why don’t you demonstrate?”

Jiwoo laughed nervously, “Uh! Um... sure! It’s... uh, do you guys want to do the whole song...?”

Sooyoung had a very specific part of the choreography in mind that she would’ve liked to see. She let herself look Jiwoo up and down, something she’d stealthily been doing more and more lately, “Maybe not. I think we should focus on our songs still, so how about you just teach us the chorus?”

Jiwoo visibly fumbled, almost dropping her phone out of her hands. She knew what the choreo of the chorus was. And so did Sooyoung. And more than anything Sooyoung wanted to see her do it.

Chaewon nodded, “That’s a good idea! Show us, Jiwoo, and then we’ll try!” She moved to stand at Hyejoo’s side, the dark-haired girl latching onto her hand as soon as she was in reach.

Jiwoo laughed again, something she often did when she was nervous, pausing before finally turning on the start of the song. Chaewon’s brows raised when she heard the start of the song and Hyolyn’s sultry voice echoing through the practice room with _“oh you better stop, oh you better stop.”_ Nobody there had expected it except Sooyoung, who couldn’t help but smile.

Jiwoo stepped into the center of the room, “Okay! So! It’s, uh, pretty intense choreo so, u-um, I’ll show you the chorus, and then maybe at the next chorus you guys can try...?” She trailed off expectantly, her gaze flitting to Sooyoung, and the older girl raised her eyebrow curiously. Oh? Did Jiwoo _want_ to see Sooyoung do this choreography?

Hyejoo just nodded, “Sounds good, now you should probably start cuz I think this is the pre-chorus.” She was right. The song was building up evidently.

Jiwoo just nodded, backing up slightly to give herself room, and clearly doing her best to immerse herself in the music instead of getting distracted by being moderately self-conscious. She’d never tried anything even remotely like this sexy choreo, and although she didn’t doubt she could do it, the girl found herself cautious. She’d already dug this hole for herself, though, so she’d just have to go for it. The chorus was moments away.

Sooyoung was _not_ prepared for the impact this would have on her. When she watched Jiwoo so effortlessly, smoothly slide to the floor, bracing herself with her hands and grinding her waist along to the choreo that Sooyoung already knew so well, she felt a blush rising to her cheeks. Her smug smile slid straight off her face and she felt more waves of heat coursing through her. Chaewon and Hyejoo were startled as well, from purely not having known the vibe that this song gave off, but Sooyoung was _far_ more flustered.

Jiwoo found herself startlingly in her element, all of her motions fluid and tight. She spun her legs in the choreographed twirl before rising to her feet again, thrusting and doing all the moves so well that Sooyoung felt herself getting weak. The older girl hid her face partially with her hand, not wanting the others to notice how rattled she was by the display. She’d asked for this, she’d expected it, but she just wasn’t ready. Her heart was beating fast and those _urges_ were back stronger than _ever_. And as the chorus wrapped up and Jiwoo triumphantly spun on her heel to face the rest of her unit, big ear-to-ear grin plastered on her face like always, Sooyoung just knew she’d have to finally do something about this. She needed an outlet.

“Ok! So, that’s uh, basically it!” Jiwoo brushed some of her hair out of her face, “Or at least what I gathered just from the video... do you guys want to try now...?” Her gaze lingered on Sooyoung and it was pleading. Like she was wordlessly _begging_ the older girl to replicate the choreo. Like she wanted to see it more than she knew how to express with words.

Sooyoung felt herself ready to lose it.

“I think Chaewon and Hyejoo should try, but Jiwoo, I need to talk to you.” Sooyoung’s voice wavered ever so slightly. She had to put conscious effort into steadying it.

Jiwoo raised an eyebrow, a bit scared at her leader’s tone. Had she made some sort of mistake? It almost sounded like she was in trouble, and she’d never been in trouble before. The other two girls were confused as well.

“Why?” Chaewon dared to ask.

Sooyoung didn’t have an excuse and she was too out of it to make a decent one, “Actually, nevermind. Why don’t we all take a break? Fifteen minutes, meet back here. Sound good?” She moved to the practice room door and opened it, holding it that way.

Their leader rarely allowed breaks that long, so the younger members jumped at the chance, practically tripping over each other as they rushed out the door. Jiwoo picked her phone back up from being plugged into the speaker and walked to follow them, but Sooyoung slammed the door shut. The younger girl’s next breath got caught in her throat and the two met eyes. There was a fire behind Sooyoung’s, a _burning_ fire.

“Um... do you still want to talk to--” Jiwoo tried to speak, tried to question the situation, but her words were stolen from her - cut off by Sooyoung’s needy lips. The younger girl whimpered, her whole body trembling, her heart beating so fast she was worried it may break through her chest.

Sooyoung broke away just as quickly as she’d surged forward, roughly clasping Jiwoo by her arms and spinning her to shove the younger girl against the nearest wall. She pressed her against it _hard_ , her grip strong and tight, her breath getting hot as she stared deeply into Jiwoo’s eyes.

“Sooyoung-ah, what...?” Jiwoo didn’t know what to ask. She wasn’t sure what she should say, for fear of ending whatever had just started.

Sooyoung let her hands wander, let them roam and touch wherever she wanted. They trailed down Jiwoo’s soft neck, thumbs tracing along defined collar bones and sharp nails scratching lightly down her arms to the hem of her shirt. Jiwoo’s breath hitched when prying fingers slinked beneath the fabric, ghosting along the younger girl’s toned, faint abs and wanting to creep up further, but hesitating ever so slightly.

“You want this,” Sooyoung whispered lowly into the younger girl’s ear, loving the way that she trembled from even the slightest touch, “Don’t you?”

Jiwoo whimpered, pursing her lips to suppress what she knew would’ve been an outright moan, her legs feeling like absolute jelly and her chest consumed with butterflies that she’d grown all too familiar with. They’d lingered there ever since she’d first seen Sooyoung smile. They’d grown more and more as the days wore on, until she knew she was hopelessly head over heels. She’d never thought that Sooyoung would give her the time of day. She never even let her mind entertain the idea besides a few startlingly lustful dreams that would make her stir in the middle of the night, only for her to stare at her slumbering leader’s entrancing features across the room until she couldn’t even think of anything besides her anymore.

Sooyoung tightened her grip, digging her manicured nails into soft flesh and leaving what she knew would be a mark. She wanted to mark Jiwoo as _hers_ , no one else’s, “ _Don’t you?_ ”

Jiwoo’s response left her on pure, desperate instinct, “Yes.” The younger girl dared to reach forward, tracing her velvety fingertips along Sooyoung’s cheek in an impossibly affectionate gesture, “Please.” Her back arched when those nails sank further into her, wincing slightly from the pain but wanting more. Wanting more of Sooyoung, wanting whatever she was willing to give her.

Sooyoung shifted, trailing nips along Jiwoo’s jaw before reaching her neck. The younger girl melted into an incoherent mess when she felt Sooyoung’s soft lips contrasted by sharp teeth, creating marks from painful biting that were left with gentle kisses. More than anything Sooyoung wanted to take her time. She wanted to bask in Jiwoo’s soft skin and quiet whimpers and pleading tugs against her shirt to be closer, but they had fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes for Sooyoung to get these damn _urges_ to calm down, even slightly.

The older girl took a deep breath, composing herself as best as she could, “Try not to make noise.” She whispered lowly into Jiwoo’s ear as her hand trailed down, lower, _lower,_ past the waistband of Jiwoo’s jeans and even past her underwear. The younger girl was already wet and the realization of that sent a rush of heat between Sooyoung’s legs that she hadn’t anticipated. She sighed shakily, not surprised when Jiwoo clung to her shirt hard with white knuckles.

“Sooyoung, I-I haven’t--” Jiwoo’s voice dripped audibly from fear, caution, and unwarranted shame at the mentioning of her inexperience. Sooyoung found it overwhelmingly endearing, and she made sure to place a sweet kiss against the younger girl’s lips.

“You’ll be fine.” She pulled back, meeting her eyes, “I want you to brace yourself, okay?” The older girl’s voice shed its predatory growl for her small question, making it gentle and reassuring.

Jiwoo just nodded, her whole body quivering and her hips wanting nothing more than to buck against Sooyoung’s hand, though she held herself in place. Although she’d never experienced anything like this with anyone else, she’d thought about it. So often. About Sooyoung... doing things to her, anything she wanted, _everything_ she wanted. She just wanted Sooyoung to touch her, more than anything she’d ever wanted in her life.

The next second, Jiwoo was seeing stars. Two fingers slid inside the younger girl’s walls and she couldn’t help but moan, the sound resonating off the walls and filling the room with the sound of her pure ecstacy. Sooyoung shushed her gently, knowing it would more or less be in vain. She’d had a creeping suspicion that Jiwoo would be far from discreet during anything that required even remote discretion, but if anything, that just excited the older girl. The thought of being caught, of being discovered in the middle of this just gave her a thrill.

Sooyoung couldn’t even remotely cope with any of this: with Jiwoo’s small little noises and her quick breaths and how warm her skin was. Sooyoung felt her legs starting to quiver, pushing her fingers in as deep as they could go, slowly, to get the younger girl used to the feeling. When they were up to the knuckle, Sooyoung paused, letting Jiwoo take a few desperately needed breaths before tugging them out. Jiwoo deflated, trembling, her cheeks flushed red and her eyes foggy from desire. Sooyoung slid those fingers back in, repeating the motion at the same speed, watching Jiwoo’s face every step of the way and revelling in how she squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lower lip to keep herself quiet.

Sooyoung felt the urges taking over even more. She quickened her pace.

“Sooyoung-ahhhhh,” Jiwoo moaned out, the sound of the older girl’s name echoing around the room. Sooyoung used her free hand to brace the two of them against the wall when she felt Jiwoo sling one of her legs around her waist, wanting there to be more access, a better angle, wanting those fingers to go in even deeper.

Sooyoung felt the girl practically dripping onto her hand and she wondered just how long the two of them had both wanted this, and nothing had come of it. What a shame. A true shame. Now they had to make up for lost time.

Sooyoung moved to Jiwoo’s ear again, wondering if the younger girl would even be able to hear her over all of her labored breathing, “That dancing pushed me over the edge. Who do you think you are, doing that in front of me?” Jiwoo moaned gutturally at the accusatory tone to Sooyoung’s voice, her iron grip on her shirt tightening even further. Sooyoung smiled devilishly, “You’re a _bad_ girl, aren’t you?” Jiwoo’s only response was a desperate whimper, and the slightest, most vague shake of her head, “Oh, you’re a good girl then?” Sooyoung disregarded the faint nod she felt against her shoulder, “I beg to differ. I think you’re a bad girl. And you need to be punished.” Jiwoo’s knees almost buckled.

Sooyoung pulled her fingers out, one by one, all the way, whispering needily, “You can take more,” She posed three fingers at Jiwoo’s entrance but paused when Jiwoo whimpered, sounding nervous.

“I-I can’t, I’ll...” She didn’t finish her statement, either because she wasn’t sure what she’d planned on saying or because she literally couldn’t form words anymore.

Either way, Sooyoung wasn’t having it, “You can, and you will.”

Sooyoung pushed those three fingers in and felt Jiwoo nearly finish just from that alone, letting out a high-pitched, airy moan right against Sooyoung’s skin, “Fffff- _fuck_ ,” Sooyoung couldn’t help but flinch at the curse, never _once_ having heard this girl swear. It was _so_ impossibly hot for some reason. Jiwoo became even more unfiltered, all of her motions sloppy and desperate. Her hips kept rising to meet each thrust of Sooyoung’s fingers, the noises she made getting louder. The closer she came, the less control she had over her volume or her inhibitions, and Sooyoung absolutely _loved_ it.

“Oh? Was that a swear? See - bad girl.” Sooyoung teased, moving her thumb to rub a quick circle against Jiwoo’s clit. The younger girl mewled, hips bucking again.

“N-no, I-I’m good,” She tried to insist, the words nearly incomprehensible from how intensely they trembled.

God did Sooyoung need some sort of release. She tried to gauge how much time had passed but she’d lost absolutely all track of it. If she didn’t get something from this, she was going to just explode. Jiwoo needed to finish fast, and then she needed to return the favor.

She had an idea abruptly, something that may just drive Jiwoo _wild_ , and she made sure to whisper it gently right into the girl’s ear again, “Are you a good girl? Will you be good for unnie?”

Jiwoo’s grip on Sooyoung tightened and she nodded, words not even slightly an option for her at this stage. Her whimpers became more drawn out and Sooyoung pushed her fingers deeper, harder, wanting to send her over that edge and knowing exactly what she had to say to just bring it all crashing down.

“Then I want you to cum on my fingers, _now_.” At her last word, Sooyoung curled those fingers, knowing that she was hitting just the right spot, and that would be absolutely all Jiwoo needed.

She was right.

Jiwoo tensed up, her whole body clenching up and around Sooyoung before collapsing into an absolute trembling, incomprehensible _mess_ , mumbling parts of words and muffling what would have been a shriek against Sooyoung’s shoulder. Sooyoung revelled in what she knew might very well have been Jiwoo’s first real orgasm, _loving_ that she’d been the cause of it, that she’d left her nail marks against Jiwoo’s torso, that Jiwoo was hers and that she’d made her so happy and had made her feel so good even for just a moment.

The older girl found herself startled at how hard her heart was beating, at the extent of the emotions surging through her chest as she stared down at this beautiful girl, coming totally undone in the palm of her hand, her peach skin flushed and her breath still not fully returning to her. And she kissed her, she kissed her softly, sweetly as she rode it out, her own head swimming as it was consumed with feelings and desire and something she knew was even deeper than that, but she didn’t let herself put a word to it. Not yet.

Jiwoo just barely started to catch her breath, still clutching Sooyoung’s shirt as if it was the only thing holding her from floating off into space. Sooyoung just soothingly stroked her hair as she calmed down, but her hands were trembling. Jiwoo noticed, pulling back to raise an eyebrow at the older girl. It was only when she saw the fire still behind her eyes that she realized this wasn’t quite over.

Sooyoung’s eyes flitted to the door to the practice room. She had no idea how long it had been. They may come back. Taking a deep breath, she stood, leaving Jiwoo to recover as she leaned against the wall. The nearly frantic leader quickly dragged a chair from the other side of the practice room and moved it to the door, propping it beneath the handle so it wouldn’t turn.

Jiwoo felt her heartbeat quickening all over again only seconds after it had started to slow, “U-um, what’re you...?”

Sooyoung stepped closer to be flush against Jiwoo, their proximity making the shorter girl blush all over again, “You want to be a good girl?” Jiwoo trembled when Sooyoung traced her thumb affectionately along her jaw, nodding eagerly, “Then I need you to touch me like I just touched you, okay?” Sooyoung didn’t care that she sounded desperate, because she was. Jiwoo could see it behind her dark eyes, she could hear it in the pleading tone to Sooyoung’s voice - it was _so_ much more a plea than it was a command.

Jiwoo swallowed hard, letting her eyes wander down to Sooyoung’s shorts and already feeling herself getting lightheaded, “Okay...” She reached forward with trembling, cautious, uncertain fingers, but she was being too slow for the older girl. She needed it _now_ , or she was going to lose it.

Sooyoung’s hand shot down and roughly clasped Jiwoo’s dainty wrist, simultaneously unzipping her own shorts for easier access as she led Jiwoo’s hands past the waistband of her underwear and to where she needed it most. Jiwoo’s gasped quietly, her eyes widening. Her heart was in her throat and her deep red blush spread to her neck and ears. Sooyoung was starting to breathe hard already, knowing Jiwoo could feel the wetness that had gathered where she’d placed her hand but just not caring anymore. She was so desperate for _release_.

“Please,” The older girl whispered, leaning against Jiwoo and urging her to just do _something_ with that hand, “Be a good girl for unnie and _fuck_ me.” She wrapped her arms around Jiwoo’s middle, tugging her closer.

Jiwoo felt like she was literally melting from the way Sooyoung had said that, from the way she so desperately wanted this, from the _begging_ and how quickly she’d switched from dominating her to a trembling, needy mess. It was... _so_ much for her to take in, and she was still so uncertain and cautious, but _god_ did she want to make Sooyoung _scream_.

Clumsy fingers dared to finally move, and one of them found Sooyoung’s bundle of nerves, rubbing a timid circle along it. In an instant the older girl was shaking, whimpering, not realizing how sensitive she was even from that - such a small thing. Her grip on the smaller girl tightened and she clenched her eyes shut, so relieved to finally be feeling this pleasure instead of having to repress it and not act on it. Jiwoo took note of her reaction and repeated the motion harder, faster. Sooyoung felt herself losing whatever control she had, grinding herself against Jiwoo’s hand but still wanting more.

“Fingers,” The older girl breathed out, “P-put your fingers in me, Jiwoo, _please_ , baby,” The nickname slipped past her lips due to her lack of any sort of filter and Jiwoo’s heart fluttered.

Taking another deep breath, the timid younger girl did as she was told, wanting to be good, wanting to listen. Still slightly shaky fingers slowly slid up and into Sooyoung, first one, then another, and the older girl nearly screamed. She held it back, just barely - the sound of a raw, throaty moan echoing throughout the room. Jiwoo underestimated how much she’d love the sound of that, and she felt her unsteady legs nearly give out all over again. She couldn’t believe she was doing this, that Sooyoung was _letting_ her do this, that she’d _asked_ for it, practically _begged_ for it. She couldn’t believe that she had two fingers, up to the knuckle, inside Sooyoung and that she could already feel those walls tightening around them.

It was only then that there was a sound. It was the doorknob turning, someone trying to get back into the room. Jiwoo froze, terrified, and Sooyoung whimpered adorably when the motion of Jiwoo’s fingers stopped. The knob turned again and the two could vaguely hear muffled chatter from the hall, but whoever was outside couldn’t get in because of the chair.

Jiwoo looked back toward Sooyoung and her lidded, fiery eyes, “I-I think we should--”

Sooyoung shook her head, not even letting her finish that sentiment, “Don’t stop, _please_ ,” Oh god, the tone to her voice. Jiwoo just couldn’t say no to that. Sooyoung leaned closer, ghosting her soft lips against the younger girl’s, “I’ll be quick, please, I’m almost done,” Jiwoo hesitated for only one more moment, before finally goaded into action by one last sentence, “Be a _good_ girl and listen to unnie.”

Jiwoo quivered, took a deep breath, and thrust three fingers back into Sooyoung, curling them like she’d remembered the older girl doing to her. Sooyoung’s eyes widened and she kissed Jiwoo to prevent the moan she knew was about to leave her, the two of their motions frantic and rushed, the sound of the doorknob repeatedly being turned and knocks being left against the metal and mounting chatter from outside goading them to be faster, faster, harder, deeper. Sooyoung snagged Jiwoo’s bottom lip between her teeth unintentionally, even drawing blood, and the younger girl whimpered, pressing her thumb hard against Sooyoung’s clit - not knowing that was the last push she needed.

Sooyoung came _hard_ , her body jolting over and over again against Jiwoo’s hand, her noises thankfully getting caught in her throat and only leaving her as quiet gasps and muffled curses hissed out under her breath. She clung to Jiwoo _hard_ , her nails digging in deep and leaving indentations, nearly poking a hole in Jiwoo’s flimsy tank top. God, she needed that. She needed that _so_ bad, and it had probably been the best orgasm of her life.

Jiwoo drew back from their kiss, looking at her hard, “W-we have to let them in,” She could barely form words, realizing only then that she needed to wipe her fingers off on something.

Sooyoung just nodded, taking a step away, her legs feeling like they weren’t even legs anymore and her heart still beating at a concerning pace. Jiwoo clumsily pulled a receipt from her jacket pocket and cleaned off her fingers while Sooyoung simply licked hers. Jiwoo trembled at the sight, feeling like she was going to disintegrate. Before Sooyoung bothered to remove the chair from its position of a makeshift barricade, she made sure to shoot Jiwoo a wink and tell her, “You’re a _very_ good girl.”

As soon as the chair was away from the door, the knob turned, and a confused, mildly frustrated Chaewon and Hyejoo burst into the room.

“What the heck you two?? We thought we’d gotten locked out or something!” Chaewon explained, stomping one of her feet and crossing her arms.

Jiwoo couldn’t speak. She just couldn’t, and Sooyoung had a suspicion of that, “Sorry. We fell asleep.”

Hyejoo seemed sort of unconvinced, “You fell asleep? Then how’d the door get locked...?”

Sooyoung shrugged, effortlessly playing this off as not even the slightest bit of a big deal, “Dunno, must’ve locked it without noticing.” She put her hair up into a ponytail, still struggling ever so slightly to regain her breath.

Chaewon looked back at the door, and at the chair that had been strangely dragged to the other side of the room, “There isn’t even a lock on this door??”

Jiwoo cleared her throat, walking up to the two, “Okay! We should probably get back to work, huh!”

Hyejoo’s brow furrowed, “Why’s your lip bleeding?”

Jiwoo turned a deep red, “What? Is it?”

Sooyoung frowned, stepping closer and daring to swipe her thumb against that bottom lip. Jiwoo’s eyes widened ever so slightly from the boldness of the gesture, “Yep. That’s blood. Careful Jiwoo, you must’ve bit it while you were dancing or something.” She shot the younger girl another wink which was unappreciated.

This whole situation was incredibly suspicious, and the other two girls knew that, but had a lingering feeling that they weren’t going to get any more information. So they let it go, and instead continued their practice, never finding out what had happened during that fifteen minute break.


	2. Shy [VISEUL]

* * *

There was always nonstop chatter whenever they all managed to get together and have dinner like this, mainly because finding time in everyone’s schedules was quite the difficult task. This particular evening, it had been months since they’d all seen one another. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had been courteous enough to host, partially celebrating their recent engagement and partially just wanting to see their friends all at once.

Kahei, however, was a bit uneasy as she sat at the table and tried to hold conversation. The reason? Although no words had necessarily been exchanged, Haseul’s eyes had been burning with a fire Kahei knew all too well, and Haseul wasn’t one to keep her... urges under wraps.

“Kahei, how’s the modeling going?” Heejin asked politely during a lull in the bustling conversation.

“Huh? Oh, it’s been fine.” Kahei felt herself tense when a soft, familiar hand was placed on her knee, out of sight beneath the table. It was a gentle gesture, and she let her gaze flit to her girlfriend affectionately but only then realized this was going to take a turn. The fire was still there behind Haseul’s eyes, strong as ever, if not even more prominent.

“I saw you in a magazine!!” The young, loud Yeojin exclaimed. For some reason Jiwoo had let her sit at the head of the table and now the girl felt empowered and kept shouting over everyone whenever she felt ignored. She slapped her hand on the table for needless emphasis, “That means you’re _really_ famous!!”

Kahei smiled earnestly, “No, that was a small thing. I was only on like, half a page...” Her words were soft and halting. She couldn’t quite focus. Why? Because Haseul’s hand was slowly trailing up her thigh. The older girl already felt a blush coming to her cheeks, and she clenched her fork with white knuckles.

“How about you Haseul? Is the store doing okay?” Jungeun questioned, “Jinsol and I have been meaning to stop by, but--”

“--but why’d you have to open a _book_ store?? That’s so boring. Why couldn’t you have like, a record shop or... an anything else shop?” The well-intentioned though rather dopey blond interrupted her more mature girlfriend.

Haseul hummed thoughtfully, incredibly composed, despite her fingers trailing along the hem of Kahei’s skirt, “I like books. It’s peaceful, and I like interacting with people...” Her hand finally slid past the fabric and Kahei’s next inhale got caught in her throat, trying to keep the sound quiet. Haseul wasn’t quite doing anything yet, just lingering, hovering, not quite making contact, “... I’ve been wanting Kahei to try and do some promotional modelling for the shop so it’ll get people to come. Like, put on fake glasses and pose with the books or something.”

Hyunjin laughed with a mouthful of bread, “Ha! A book model.”

Hyejoo spoke in her soft, low voice, “That’s a good idea. It’ll make your store stand out.”

Haseul smiled an impossibly sweet smile that did _not_ match what she was secretly doing beneath the table, “I think so too! But she’s ‘too shy,’ apparently. Which isn’t true. Trust me, she’s _not_ all that shy.” With that, the younger girl finally pushed aside her girlfriend’s underwear and slowly slid a finger inside of her.

Kahei gasped, gripping her fork so tightly it nearly hurt and pursing her lips desperately to keep any noises back. Her eyes desperately looked at all the others at the table, wondering if they could tell what was happening or if they suspected anything. Jiwoo was sitting right next to her, but thankfully she was too preoccupied with staring at Sooyoung to even properly address anyone else there. Even so, Kahei was _terrified_ of being caught, and Haseul absolutely knew that. But it didn’t stop her. If anything, it just encouraged her.

“Yeah, Kahei definitely plays up that shy thing a little too much.” Sooyoung agreed.

Kahei knew it was about time for her to playfully defend herself, to speak up, to respond, but she didn’t trust the steadiness of her voice when Haseul’s finger was slowly moving in and out of her. She simply curled her toes, gripping the edge of her chair with her other hand, “I-I’m... I-I a-am shy-- _ah_ \--” Haseul added another finger, wanting to push her, and Kahei couldn’t help but gasp quietly, honestly proud of herself for keeping back a yelp. A few brows furrowed and Kahei desperately tried to salvage the normalcy, “I-I’ve a-always been shy, ha, um, modelling helps to mmmmff--” The struggling girl bit her lower lip when her girlfriend curled those two fingers, hitting a spot she knew would make her squirm. Kahei shut her eyes for a moment, using every ounce of her willpower to keep talking, “--mmmake me feel more confident!”

A few people were slightly suspicious now. Haseul slowed the pace of her fingers ever so slightly, letting the suspicion run its course and Kahei to take a few much needed breaths.

“You feeling okay...?” Chaewon questioned, her eyebrow raised.

“Yes!” Kahei reassured her a bit too eagerly, “Yep! I’m fine, just... feeling uh, a bit off! I think I’m catching a cold or something.” Haseul’s hand remained perfectly still. Kahei was relieved but she didn’t let herself relax, knowing that her girlfriend wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily.

“Ewww, don’t get me sick!!” Yeojin exclaimed, emphatically pushing her chair away from the table.

Sooyoung rolled her eyes, “I don’t think that’s true, I think Kahei doesn’t like us teasing her about faking her shyness.”

That wasn’t at all what Kahei was lying about, but she’d rather refute that than what was really happening. Haseul finally dared to move again, this time brushing her thumb against Kahei’s clit and making the poor girl’s whole body jolt. She didn’t say a word, and the flinch thankfully went unnoticed by most.

Hyunjin agreed, nodding, “Yeah Kahei’s too sensitive to tease.”   
  
Haseul laughed lightly, resting her head on her hand that wasn’t occupied, “Yeah, she’s pretty sensitive.” She rubbed a deliberate circle against her girlfriend’s bundle of nerves, revelling in the way the older girl subtly coughed to prevent what would’ve been a whimper, “But I think she can take it.”

The next second, Kahei felt three fingers thrust straight up into her and the girl desperately clamped a hand over her mouth to prevent a moan from leaving her. She felt her whole body heating up, hating the surges of pleasure that kept washing over her every time Haseul dragged those fingers all the way out and pushed them all the way back in. She hated that she liked this, and that Haseul _knew_ she liked this. She hated how bad she was at seeming unaffected, and that the older people at the table probably knew what was going on.

“Uhhh, you sure you’re okay Kahei?” Yerim asked gently, “Do you want some water, or something?”

Kahei took a deep breath, using every single ounce of her willpower to remain composed as she drew her hand away from her mouth, “N-no... I’m okay, just stubbed my toe on the leg of the table that’s all.” Haseul glanced at her, a bit taken aback at how put together she just sounded. She didn’t like it. She wanted her to be a mess. She could make that happen.

Haseul waited until the rest of the table resumed their conversation before quickening her pace, right after Kahei had gotten good at coping with the old one. The older girl took a shaky breath, bracing herself against the table and letting some of her hair fall in her face so nobody could see how overcome she was. She’d more or less accepted the situation she’d been put into. Haseul thrust her fingers deeper, curling them to hit the spot she knew Kahei couldn’t even remotely handle, moving her thumb in a way that sent endless chills up the older girl’s spine.

Kahei was an absolute mess, coming completely undone, her only solace being that Sooyoung had started to tell such a riveting story that everyone was focused on her. That wasn’t Kahei’s concern, though. No - her concern was how close she felt herself getting. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stay quiet. She never had been good at that. She’d also never been in a situation where she definitely _had_ to stay quiet for fear of public embarrassment. Kahei did _not_ want to have an orgasm in front of all of her friends. Nope, that was _not_ at _all_ something she was okay with happening. But she couldn’t just tell Haseul “hey, please stop fingering me for a second,” and have that be particularly subtle.

Feeling herself almost about to lose it, Kahei desperately reached down, clasping her girlfriend’s wrist and tugging her hand from beneath her skirt. Haseul was caught off guard by the sudden boldness and didn’t have a chance to reassert her dominance before Kahei had frantically gotten to her feet, out of her reach. The older girl felt herself practically dripping and she couldn’t hide the red blush on her cheeks.

The sudden motion got the other’s attention, and for a second all eyes were on her.

“I-I’ve gotta go the bathroom, that’s all! Um, where is it...?” It was a new place, so the girl genuinely wasn’t sure. It also didn’t help that her mind was so foggy with lust she could barely string two words together.

Jiwoo pointed toward a hallway wordlessly and Kahei quickly followed the directions she was given, her legs wobbly and her heart beating out of her chest. She ducked into the bathroom, not bothering to lock the door as she ran some water on her face. Maybe that’d help her calm down. It didn’t. In all honesty, she knew the only thing that would calm her down was to finish. But she wasn’t gonna do that on her own, in her friend’s new bathroom. No... that’d just be... bad, right?

Well, it was a more ideal setting than at the dining table, directly in view of all of them. And Haseul had gotten her so worked up she didn’t really have any other choice.

Sighing shakily, the timid girl slid her own hand past the waistband of her skirt--

\--only for the door of the bathroom to be opened without so much as a knock. Kahei yelped, quickly tugging her hand away, but the person coming in had definitely seen what she was going to do. Thankfully, it was Haseul.

“Oh,” Haseul spoke, her voice low and sultry. Kahei’s heart skipped a beat as she watched her girlfriend shut the door behind them, making sure to lock it, “Finishing yourself off without me? That’s rude.” She stepped closer. Kahei stayed still, her whole body shaking.

“I-I...” The older girl didn’t know what to say.  
  


Haseul kept coming, stopping inches from her, “Why’d you run off? We were having fun.”

Kahei scoffed lightly, “I-I didn’t want to finish right in front of them like that!! C’mon, Yeojin was there! She’s like eight years old!”

Haseul nodded, the fire behind her eyes burning more intensely than Kahei had ever seen it before, “Fine. So let’s finish here.”

“I--” Kahei didn’t have a chance to protest. The next second, she was being shoved perhaps a bit too hard against the nearest wall and _pressed_ against it. She whimpered from the pain of her side scraping slightly against the sink, but she liked it. And Haseul knew that.

“Don’t act like you didn’t love that,” Haseul practically growled into her girlfriend’s ear, her hand returning to it’s previous spot in an instant. Kahei didn’t bother trying to muffle the moan that left her when those fingers came back full force, sliding in effortlessly, “You’re so wet right now.”

Kahei turned a deep red, “Sh...shut up...”

“Like you could ever make me.” Haseul teased. It was true. Kahei was the definition of a bottom.

Kahei tried to protest, at the very least just for the sake of her dignity, but Haseul suddenly picked up the pace, going even faster than she had back at the table, the motion so intense it nearly strained her wrist, “F-ff _fuck_ , Haseul...”

Haseul bit the skin of Kahei’s neck, hard, her teeth scraping it before whispering into her ear, “What was that?” Her tone was demanding.

Kahei quickly realized her mistake, forgetting their rules simply from how much of a _mess_ she was, “Sorry, I-I... please, mommy, don’t stop...” She felt her legs nearly giving out, not trusting her own ability to stay up. Haseul was the only thing keeping her standing.

Haseul nodded, not stopping the motion of her hand or slowing it for even the slightest second. Kahei could barely breathe, not getting a break.

“What do you want, baby?” Haseul asked gently, slowing down ever so slightly so Kahei could get an actual breath in.

The older girl bit her lower lip, “C-can you do it harder please?”

Haseul withdrew all of her fingers in an instant and Kahei whined from the removal, bucking her hips, “Please _what_?”

“ _Please_ , mommy,” Kahei hated herself for forgetting again, for losing that contact from her own poor memory. She’d never wanted something so bad in her life and the blatant desire showed through in her voice, in her eyes, in the way she scratched desperately at Haseul’s shirt, pulling her closer.

Haseul felt herself getting weak in the knees from the tone to Kahei’s plea, and she didn’t hesitate to thrust her fingers back in as hard as she could, pushing them to the knuckle and curling them tightly. Kahei moaned again, the sound raw and guttural and the only thing Haseul ever wanted to hear.

“Be quick,” Haseul demanded, “We can’t have them getting suspicious.”

“Y-yes mommy,” Kahei whimpered out, her head absolutely swimming as she clung to Haseul for dear life. The younger girl was relentless and Kahei wouldn’t have it any other way. Her whole body felt like it was melting. Being quick wasn’t at _all_ a concern in this situation.

For good measure, Haseul curled those fingers one last time, pressing her thumb hard against Kahei’s clit, and growling lowly into her ear a simple command, “Cum for me.”

That was the final push that the older girl needed, and she let herself come completely undone in Haseul’s hands. She felt a scream threatening to tear its way from her throat, but Haseul anticipated that and muffled it with a surprisingly soft kiss. Kahei clung and clawed at her, twitching and trembling, and Haseul let her ride it out, all of her motions growing slow and gentle and loving. Haseul was merciless and demanding when she needed to be, but would always end their nights together with tender caresses and whispers of undying affection, and sometimes Kahei could feel it without her needing to say a single word. This was one of those times - when Haseul held onto her and kept her standing after one of the most intense orgasms she’d ever had in her life in their friend’s bathroom.

Haseul finally drew away, letting Kahei catch her breath and try and regain even a semblance of composure. The younger girl placed a sweet kiss on her flustered girlfriend’s forehead, “I love you.”

Kahei just laughed lightly, still dazed, “I love you too.”

Haseul pulled her to her feet, helping her straighten out her skirt and clean herself up a bit after washing her own fingers off in the sink, “We really should get back. Pretty sure Sooyoung definitely knew we were fucking.”

Kahei gasped, a blush returning to her cheeks, “Oh no. Did she really?”

Haseul just chuckled smugly, clasping Kahei’s still trembling hand and pulling the two of them out the door, “Dunno. Guess we have to go see.”

  
  


༼ : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ༽


	3. Distance [LIPSEUL]

_**** _

_**Haseul POV** _

**(((There's a lot of buildup for this one but bear with me it's worth it)))**

I slid my backpack from my shoulders, dropping the clunky thing onto my floor and falling face-first onto my bed. It’d been a long day. Full of pop quizzes and back to back classes and too much walking in uncomfortable heat. I caught my breath after a minute or so, letting my mind wander and wind down. I could hear other college kids outside my window walking past, already drunk and probably going somewhere to get even more wasted. It was the weekend, after all.

I for one, didn’t have any plans. Nothing significant, anyway. If I wanted I could’ve arranged to do something with my friends, but I knew that I'd just be on my phone the whole time. That’s all I’d been thinking of lately. All I’d wanted to do. Talk to Jungeun.

  
I’d met her online a few months before. It was from Twitter. I’d told her that I’d just thought her tweets were funny, but that wasn’t true. In all honesty, I’d seen a selfie of hers and gay panicked for twenty minutes before working up the nerve to DM her. Pretty soon we followed each other on Insta and exchanged numbers, we’d even skyped a few times. We talked almost every day, but she lived in a whole other country, and I’d never been more angry about distance before in my life.

I never thought I’d be someone to develop genuine feelings for someone over the internet, without knowing them in person, but... there was something there. I knew there was. I felt it almost all day every day, I felt it when she commented on one of my selfies with a bunch of fire emojis, I felt it when she messaged me first thing in the morning, knowing when I got up despite our significant time difference. She gave me what I knew were butterflies, but then I’d always frown at myself for feeling them. Was I really getting butterflies over someone I’d never met? At least I knew she wasn’t catfishing me, since we’d skyped before.

Either way, I knew there was nothing on her end. Jungeun’s life was exciting. She was studying abroad, going on adventures on a nearly daily basis, getting good grades while simultaneously maintaining one of the most appealing social lives I’d ever witnessed on social media. She’d gathered quite the following and I was silently grateful I’d gotten close to her when I did. Otherwise I probably would’ve gotten lost in the shuffle and she wouldn’t have given me the time of day. To be honest I was still a bit confused as to why she bothered to talk to me at all, there were so many more interesting people around her all the time.

My phone buzzed in the pocket of my shorts and I couldn’t help but tug it out frantically. Sure enough, it was Jungeun.

_Jungeun ^.^ : yooo! back from class yet, nerd?_

I couldn’t help the smile that spread instantly across my face. That was usually what happened. Even from the simplest, most basic of texts.

_yeah, long day. Kinda feel like napping but now i’ve gotta talk to you_

I joked. As if I didn’t want to talk to Jungeun. That’d never been the case, and it probably never would be.

_Jungeun ^.^ : damn right you do_

My mind flashed back to the night before, and I wondered if I should mention something. I never tended to hide things from her. We talked about a lot of things, usually just stream of consciousness stuff, so why hide it...?

_i had a dream about you, lol is that weird...?_

I thought it was sort of weird at first, but maybe it wasn’t. I thought about her almost constantly, so why wouldn’t she show up in my dreams too? I was just worried she’d be a bit weirded out. Dreaming about people just sort of seemed... intimate. If that makes sense.

Her response was almost immediate, as always.

_Jungeun ^.^ : no, what happened in the dream?_

It wasn’t hard to remember it. It’d been on my mind all day.

_we just hungout and stuff, like there was no distance. you were here. we met up and just... spent time._

God I wished she was closer. I wanted _nothing_ more than to just see her in person. See her smile, hear her laugh, get closer with her. But I hadn’t said anything like that yet. That seemed... like a lot, right? To say I wanted to meet her in person? Or was it? We’d gotten really close. I considered her almost one of my closest friends, even more so than the ones I’d made in college. I dunno, she was just so easy to talk to, she was so interesting and charming and funny and _beautiful_ and... ugh.

_Jungeun ^.^ : oh, that’s all?_

That’s all? What was that supposed to mean? I sat up slightly in bed, getting more pulled into the conversation.

_what do you mean?_

_Jungeun ^.^ : what’d we do when we hung out?_

_just talked and stuff. i think we went to a park_

_Jungeun ^.^ : ahh. boring. we’d do more fun stuff if you came here._

My heart skipped a beat. If I came there...? As if? She wanted me to? Did she want to see me in person too? And what was “more fun” stuff...?

_Oh?_

I had no idea what else to say. I was... _incredibly_ intrigued, but I wasn’t sure if I should show that all the way. Jungeun had said that sort of flippantly. Like it wasn’t a big deal, so maybe she’d only meant it hypothetically, not literally. I shouldn’t take it any more seriously than that... so I didn’t.

***

After a late night of escaping from a shitty college party and taking refuge in my small, cramped single room, I thought of Jungeun. As always. My senses were slightly dulled from the alcohol I’d forced myself to drink just to blend in, and my head was already starting to hurt. I wasn’t much of a drinker. All it did was leave a bad taste in my mouth and a hollowness in my chest - I was a sad drunk, and it was starting to kick in. The biggest feeling that started to wash over me was my loneliness. My godawful, ever-present loneliness.

I just wanted someone. Someone to hold, to talk to, to take care of and spend time with and love. And the saddest part was that I almost had that with Jungeun, or at least, I felt like I almost did. My drunk self starting to cathartically tweet, random things, handpicked song lyrics from the depressing playlist I’d started to use as background noise as I drank water to try and sober up.

_Jungeun ^.^ : why are you sad tweeting_

I read the message but didn’t know what to say. Should I tell her? Should I say that half the reason I always had this weight on my shoulders was from how bleak it was to think about how unlikely it was for me to ever see her in person?

No. I shouldn’t.

_Ugh. i just want a girlfriend._

I’d never really talked about this before. Jungeun knew I was gay, I wasn’t that subtle about it on the internet, and I knew she was bi. Which only made my affection for her get even worse, knowing that the possibility of ever being with her wasn’t totally unheard of because she _did_ like girls. I’d liked a few straights in my lifetime, and wouldn’t recommend it. In fact, Jungeun was the first girl I’d ever had genuine feelings for who even had the potential of liking me back. Which only made it stronger.

_Jungeun ^.^ : ahh, i see_

She was still typing. I clutched my phone with white knuckles, in dreaded anticipation for whatever she planned on saying.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i used to wish that too, but who needs a girlfriend when you’ve got two hands am i right?_

I sputtered, nearly spitting my water out onto my desk, more or less just slamming my hands against my keyboard in response.

_ahahahahaknfwknfw_

She read it but didn’t say anything. I took a deep breath, feeling a slight blush coming to my cheeks before daring to ask something else.

_are you being serious?_

Jungeun was rarely ever serious. She was probably just making some joke, right? But normally her jokes weren’t that crude...

_Jungeun ^.^ : yeah, no shame in it_

It felt like I couldn’t breathe. My mind started to wander to a place I’d never really let it wander before when it came to her, and the heat that flooded into my cheeks started to spread to the rest of my body. I read the message and I just stared and stared at it.

_Jungeun ^.^ : what, do you not?_   
  


My blush intensified and I was suddenly very glad she couldn’t see or hear me right now. I really didn’t trust the steadiness of my voice if this was a phone call or something.

_ahaha um_

She was talking about it really casually... why couldn’t I? It’s just... I never had before. I just... hadn’t? I knew people did, but I’d... never.

_Not... really._

Her response instantaneous.

_Jungeun ^.^ : oh please, don’t act like you’ve never masturbated before_

I couldn’t help but flinch at the actual word. She was being so blunt. I knew the time difference, it wasn’t late there or anything, only around dinner time, so while I was tipsy and tired, she was fully sober and aware. Which only made me even more flustered.

_faakfnwkfjanefwfwe_

I didn’t even try to filter my keyboard smashes. She should know I was a mess, I wanted to be honest about it.

_Um_

_I haven’t really_

She typed something, and I watched as the dots danced across my screen, but then they went away and nothing was sent. Had she deleted it...? My mind was cloudy from the alcohol but that didn’t prevent it from buzzing.

_Jungeun ^.^ : wait are you a virgin?_

Oh. She didn’t know. I guess I’d never told her. It... wasn’t something I tended to broadcast. I was sort of embarrassed about it. I felt naive and inexperienced. Part of it was... that I wasn’t totally comfortable with my sexuality yet. I wasn’t out to my parents, and the few friends I had weren’t gay, so there weren’t any prospects there. How could I meet a girl if nobody even knew I was a lesbian?

_Perhaps_

I tried to be coy. Tried to seem more comfortable than I was, but it was hard.

_Jungeun ^.^ : ohhhh sorry, i didn’t know that lol_

I frowned. She didn’t have to be sorry. While I wondered if I should say that, she typed something else.

_Jungeun ^.^ : sorry if i’m making you uncomfortable_

I didn’t hesitate in my response.

_you’re not, i just don’t really talk about this stuff that’s all_

That was an understatement. I’d _never_ talked about this stuff, and for some reason her bringing it up so casually made me want to talk about it even more. I knew she wouldn’t judge me. I knew she’d be honest if I was honest. It’d be cathartic probably. Why _shouldn’t_ I talk about it? Like she said, there shouldn’t be any shame, right?

_Jungeun ^.^ : well you can always talk to me if you want. about anything. even “this stuff,” i’m a pretty open book in case you couldn’t tell_

Did she... want to talk about this? And if so... why? Was it _just_ because she was an open book? Or was it something else...?

I couldn’t think, and all the alcohol was doing was making me sleepy. I’d probably say something I’d regret if I kept this up, so I told her goodnight and headed to bed. I had more dreams about her, but... they were a bit more um, exciting than the last one.

***

My insomnia was hitting me hard one night. It was almost 3 AM, but I was awake, wide awake, staring up at my ceiling and scrolling through my phone. I’d long since abandoned even trying to get to sleep, there was no hope at this point.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I flinched slightly, startled.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i see you retweeting shit, why are you up so late?_

My heart fluttered and I got those same, familiar butterflies. They showed up from even the tiniest of things.

_i can’t sleep_

She knew about my insomnia. This had happened before once or twice, and we’d at least used my sleeplessness to talk for longer. It sucked in the morning, but it was almost worth it just to be able to talk for so long. During the day it was hard to chat as much because of the timezones.

_Jungeun ^.^ : don’t you work tomorrow?_

She knew my work schedule. That was so endearing for some reason.

_yeah..._

_Jungeun ^.^ : fuckin RIP_

_mood_

My eyelids were heavy but that didn’t mean I could get any actual sleep. It was so frustrating. I knew I was gonna be a zombie, I had a class in four hours, and then a full shift right after. Why did my body do this to me?

_Jungeun ^.^ : try listening to relaxing music_

It was sweet she was trying, but I don’t think she really understood how bad this insomnia could get.

_that never works for me :/_

There was an unusual pause before she responded that time. It left me in suspense, since now all I was doing was waiting for her texts.

_Jungeun ^.^: i mean..._

_Jungeun ^.^ : i could tell you what i do when i can’t sleep_

By this point I think I’d heard every single “sleep inducing method” there was on earth. Whenever you mention you have insomnia, everyone suddenly turns into a doctor, telling you to not eat before you go to bed or to sleep in total darkness, or to use a noise machine or to sleep in total silence. So whatever she planned on telling me, I appreciated the effort but doubted it’d do any good.

_sure_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i uh... yaknow_

My brow furrowed. Actually I didn’t know.

_...what?_

_Jungeun ^.^ : yaknowwww.._

Was I being dumb or something? I was pretty tired. Maybe I was missing it?

_i don’t know_

_Jungeun ^.^ : you do_

What was she implying? Jungeun was pretty forward, with literally everything, so what could it possibly be that she’d not want to say outright...?

Oh. Wait a minute. Was she...? My heart skipped a beat, sitting at the top of my chest.

_you mean...?_

I couldn’t say it either. There was no way. But I knew what she meant now, and she knew I knew. And... we were talking about it, and... it felt like I couldn’t even breathe.

_Jungeun ^.^ : yeah_

I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. I was nervous, so dreadfully nervous, but that same heat was coming back that I’d felt the last time we’d talked about this. I was blushing. I was probably beet red.

_oh_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i know you said you don’t do it but it really does help_

I was embarrassed, but not for the reason she may think. It wasn’t even the topic, it was just... my lack of experience with it. Why not just be honest? I was sleepy and uninhibited and I just didn’t care anymore.

_i’ve never..._

She wasn’t hesitating. Like she was totally unfazed by what I considered to be sort of significant confessions, but I was glad. Glad she didn’t care, glad she just wanted to talk and that she was unsurprised.

_Jungeun ^.^ : it’s not rocket science_

I frowned slightly. Was I being dumb?

_Jungeun ^.^ : sorry that was mean_

_Jungeun ^.^ : but really, it’s just what you’d think. you just kinda... fiddle around down there_

I blinked hard, wondering if I’d read that right.

_wfnwkfnwfnw_

I think she was getting nervous. Maybe she thought she was being too forward or too pushy, she didn’t want to pressure me, and it was sweet. That wasn’t what she was doing though. If anything, she was just making my whole body start to tingle.

_Jungeun ^.^ : only if you want_

_Jungeun ^.^ : you don’t have to, i’m just saying, it’s what helps me get to sleep_

I trusted her. What was the harm in trying...? I was alone, it was late, I needed to sleep, and now... now I wanted to.

Taking a deep breath, I set my phone down next to my head and reached down with my free hand. Clumsy, cautious fingers slinked beneath the waistband of my shorts, and... brushed against something that sent what felt like an electric shock of pleasure straight through me. My back arched, the sensation something I’d never felt before, but something I liked. Something I craved more of.

She was right, I sort of just... fiddled around. It was nice. It felt... good, and my mind was running rampant with thoughts I definitely hadn’t expected to come to mind. Thoughts of... late night Jungeun having a hard time sleeping and doing this to herself all alone in her room. Her breath getting short, her blond, entrancing hair getting messy and disheveled, her eyes closed and her biting her lip to keep the sounds back...

My phone buzzed and I opened my eyes, not even having noticed that I’d shut them. It was a text from Jungeun. I’d lost track of time, I must’ve been doing... this for around ten minutes.

_Jungeun ^.^ : wow, way to leave me on read_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i’m kidding, i hope you got to sleep lovely_

Lovely? Oof. An extra surge of pleasure shot through me unexpectedly. Not wanting her to think I was ignoring her, I reached toward my phone with my um, not busy hand, shakily texting something out.

_i’m not_

_Jungeun ^.^ : then what’re you doing?_

The blush on my cheeks got hotter. Should I tell her...? Or was that too much info? I mean... she’d suggested it.

_what do you think..?_

I pursed my lips, muffling a small moan that threatened to leave me.

_Jungeun ^.^ : oh shit_

_Jungeun ^.^ : are you really_

I couldn’t read her reaction, my mind was cloudy and my chest was heaving and it really felt like I couldn’t think a single thought unless it revolved around Jungeun.

So, I just answered.

_yeah_

I was getting closer. I knew I was. It didn’t take much to know that.

_Jungeun ^.^ : oof_

_Jungeun ^.^ : that’s kinda hot_

I whimpered, unable to keep the sound back. I felt my hips buck, my heart beating at twice the speed, the thought of Jungeun thinking of me - _me_ \- as “hot” for even a fleeting second almost enough to totally push me over the edge.

It only took a few more seconds until I finished, collapsing back onto my mattress and gasping for air. My brain was totally fried, my face flushed, my body twitching every now and then. Wow...

_Jungeun ^.^ : sorry lol_

I think she was worried she’d went too far, based on my lack of response, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

_it’s ok_

_Jungeun ^.^ : how’d it go_

I couldn’t help but laugh slightly, still out of breath. My fingers felt weighted and weak as I tried to respond.

_afakewjfnwkjafwf stop it_

_Jungeun ^.^ : just curious_

I wondered if that was true. If all of this was based in innocent curiosity and nothing more. I wished it was more. I wished that so desperately. Surprisingly, a wave of genuine drowsiness had washed over me as soon as I’d finished, and sleep tugged at my eyes. They fluttered closed for a few seconds. I didn’t think I’d be able to chat much longer, and I didn’t want to unintentionally ignore her.

_i’m sleepy_

I told her honestly. She knew that was my way of telling her I should probably go to bed, and that I wouldn’t be any more direct.

_Jungeun ^.^ : go to bed <3_

A heart emoji? _A heart emoji?_ She’d... never used one of those before. Oh wow. The butterflies were back all over again in full force, and my sleepiness made me just bold enough to send one back without overthinking it.

_ok <3 talk to you tomorrow?_

_Jungeun ^.^ : always_

***

I sat in the local café, idly sipping some tea and letting my mind wander. It went to the only place it ever tended to go nowadays: straight to Jungeun. It was around 6 where I was, which meant it was nearly midnight over there, so too late to text. I felt so aimless when I wasn’t talking to her, like I was just going through the day waiting for a text or a call. Sometimes I wondered if she ever felt the same way, or if this attachment was totally one-sided, but I knew I’d never ask.

My phone buzzed and it was her.

_Jungeun ^.^ : hey! what’re you up to? what time is it there?_

That was weird. She always knew what time it was here, she’d shown me she had a second clock app on her phone so she’d know. Which was ridiculously sweet, and I’d done the same thing in an instant. Did she forget she had that...? Or was she just trying to make conversation?

_it’s only 6, but it’s late over there. what’re you doing up?_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i’m out_

Ah. She did that pretty often, went out with friends, partied, drank a bit. She had a lot of friends, and she spent a lot of time with them, so I wasn’t surprised, but she didn’t tend to text me when she did that because she was distracted. Which was totally fine, I understood, only why was she doing it now? I wasn’t complaining, far from it, I just wasn’t sure why.

_oh, that’s fun!_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i’m thinking about you_

My heart nearly stopped. What...? She was... thinking about me? While she was out? So she was at a bar, or hanging out downtown or something, with all of her friends, and she was thinking about me so much she had to tell me so? Oh boy. The butterflies in my chest were running rampant.

_aww, i was thinking about you too_

I considered adding a heart emoji, but that might’ve been a bit too much, so I restrained the urge.

I was _not_ prepared for what she sent me next.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i want to be your first_

I fumbled, knocking over my tea cup. There was only a little bit left in it, just enough for me to mop up the spill on the table with my napkin. I nervously looked around the shop, getting a few looks from the other college students just from the clattering noise my cup had made, but they quickly went back to their own business. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.

I read the text again. And again. And again, wondering if I’d dreamt it up, hallucinated the whole thing. My body started to tingle. Was she kidding...? I picked my phone up with shaking hands, fighting back a blush.

_what?_

Her response was instantaneous.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i want to be your first_

She repeated herself without hesitation. Like it was the easiest thing in the world, like she wanted me to make sure I believed her.

She sent something else.

_Jungeun ^.^ : god if you were here right now_

Part of me felt like I should get up and maybe not receive these texts in a public place, in front of a bunch of strangers, but my legs honestly felt like jelly and I didn’t trust myself to stand.

_what...? what would you do?_

I nervously nursed my lower lip between my teeth, crossing and uncrossing my legs beneath the table as I waited for a response. What would she do...? I’d never been more curious in my life.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i’d pin you down and rip your clothes off and fuck you until you couldn’t even talk_

A wave of heat washed over me and my face got flushed. Oh my god. I never... _ever_ thought she would’ve talked like this to me. Okay I definitely needed to leave. I couldn’t be here like this, it felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I slung my backpack onto my shoulders and got to my feet, nearly stumbling but keeping it together. Right as I left the café and merged into the passing crowd on the street, I nervously sent her something back.

_would you really?_

She couldn’t be joking. She wasn’t joking, was she...?

_Jungeun ^.^ : yes_

Fuck... I walked faster. I needed to get home. It was only a five minute or so walk, but I needed to... do something about the urges I felt rising up in my chest, or I’d literally explode.

_Jungeun ^.^ : i wanna eat you out_

I nearly tripped, just barely getting it together, my grip on my phone almost faltering. I was _not_ okay, it felt like I was gonna pass out. I had no idea what to say, so I just typed what I was essentially feeling at that moment.

_asdfghjklkjhgv_

_Jungeun ^.^ : i’m good at it_

Oh, I hadn’t ever doubted that.

_i’m sure_

_Jungeun ^.^ : oh?_

_you seem like you’d be good at it, that’s all...._

She was experienced with it, I knew she was. Not that she’d mentioned it or anything, but when we’d talked about exes, she’d said she had a long term girlfriend, who she partially stayed with just for... that stuff. She’d told me that really flippantly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but I’d definitely remembered. I’d definitely thought about it more than I probably should’ve.

_Jungeun ^.^ : do you want to test it out?_

Yes. Yes yes yes, oh my god yes I did. My instant response was such a _resounding_ yes, but I couldn’t say that. No, there was no way.

_maybe..._

I got back home, bouncing up and down, antsy in the elevator ride up to my room. She wasn’t responding, and she hadn’t read my response either. Maybe she’d gotten distracted or something. I wondered where she was, what she was doing, if she was just as flustered as I was or if she was telling me all these vulgar things without so much as flinching.

I dove into my room, locked the door behind me, and did something about all my pent up urges.

I woke up the next morning to a text from her, an uncharacteristically long one.

_Jungeun ^.^ : oh my god i’m so so sorry haseul, i was drunk off my ass last night, i never would’ve said that stuff i’m so sorry it was way over the line_

My heart sank in my chest. She regretted it...? Was I supposed to? Because I didn’t. Far from it, I wished she’d talked to me like that even more. But I guess it made sense that she was drunk, those texts had been really sudden and wild. Either way, I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t disappointed. 

Clearly she was embarrassed and sort of upset, so I decided to cut her some slack. She deserved that much.

_it’s okay, i sort of figured you were out of it haha_

_Jungeun ^.^ : we can just forget that, i’m sorry, i just get really weird when i’m drunk_

Weird. That was an interesting way to put it, and definitely a word I wouldn’t have used, but I didn’t plan on correcting her.

_yeah lol, i guess you do_

She talked to me like normal after that. Like nothing had happened the night before, like she really did want to forget it. I didn’t. I couldn’t, and I didn’t.

***

I did something crazy. It was spring break, and while everyone else was going on vacations or going out to party like wild, I’d saved up my money for weeks and weeks and bought a plane ticket.

Yes, a plane ticket. You can probably guess to where.

I set it down on my desk after spending hours packing up my things for a long weekend. I’d planned it all. I’d booked a hotel, got my things all ready to go, and I was leaving in the morning, but one thing I had put off a bit: telling Jungeun I’d done this in the first place.

I was nervous. It was a big leap, we had never discussed meeting up in any actually realistic terms. It had always been fleeting mentions of what we “would do” if we lived closer, what we’d “want” to do “some day.” But... here I’d gone and bought this expensive ticket without so much as mentioning it.

I’d taken a picture of them on my desk, and I’d been pacing back and forth in my room for a solid twenty minutes debating on whether or not to send it to her cold. Should I preface it? Or not? Would that help her process it a bit more?

Finally, I just sent her something.

_hey, so..._

She read it immediately. Nothing new, but this time it made me nervous.

_Jungeun ^.^ : so?_

I pursed my lips, clenching my phone tighter in my hands.

_maybe i did something crazy_

That may or may not have been an understatement.

_Jungeun ^.^ : you got a coffee with two sugars instead of one?_

_no, even crazier_

_Jungeun ^.^ : you skipped one of your classes?_

_crazier_

_Jungeun ^.^ : you...? what? you wouldn’t do anything crazier than that lol_

Normally, that would’ve been a very valid assumption. But she made me crazy. She made me so so crazy.

_wanna bet?_

My hands had started to shake. I was still uncertain but I’d dug myself a hole I knew I couldn’t get out of even if I wanted to.

_Jungeun ^.^ : ok now i’m curious_

I just had to send the picture. That was all the explaining I needed to do. Taking a deep breath, I sent it, forcing myself to sit down on my bed to brace myself for whatever her reaction would be. Maybe she wouldn’t even understand what the tickets meant. Maybe she was busy that weekend so she wouldn’t be able to see me in the first place. Maybe she’d be freaked out, maybe this was way too much and now she wouldn’t ever talk to me the same way anymore.

My phone buzzed. Once. Twice. Three, four times in quick succession, and it took me a few seconds to muster up the courage to look.

_Jungeun ^.^ : BITCH_

_Jungeun ^.^ : WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME_

_Jungeun ^.^ : YOU??_

_Jungeun ^.^ : ARE YOU SERIOUSLY COMING HERE?????_   
  


I couldn’t help but smile, a big, wide, unfiltered smile. She was happy. Now that I thought about it, I couldn’t remember a single other time she’d talked in all caps before. She was really excited, and it made my chest light and airy.

_YEAH_

I shared her excitement. Probably more than she knew.

_Jungeun ^.^ : I’M_

_Jungeun ^.^ : GOING TO CRY?_

I chuckled lightly at her, my affection swelling tangibly in my chest.

_NO DON’T CRY_

_Jungeun ^.^ : WHAT THE HELL I LOVE YOU_

My heart skipped a beat.

_I LOVE YOU TOO_

I didn’t hesitate to say that. Not even a bit. But... I think mine had a bit of a different meaning than hers did.

***

It was the longest flight of my life. Literally, I’d never had to be on a plane for that long, but it also dragged and dragged and _dragged_. I was antsy. Full of nervous energy that made my hands shake and my heartbeat quicken. I was gonna see her. I was really gonna see her. I was gonna see Jungeun.

She was so excited. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. She kept listing off stuff we had to do, places we needed to go, things she wanted to show me. She’d text me at random points of the day, telling me how hyped she was, how badly she wanted to see me. She’d even offered to pay me back for part of my ticket, getting playfully mad that I hadn’t told her the plan because she would’ve chipped in, but I refused. It was my idea, not hers, and I wasn’t gonna ask for any sort of payment.

The plane landed. My heart was in my throat. I lugged my bags to the front of the airport, my phone being bombarded with texts from her because she knew the time I was supposed to arrive - she’d asked me over and over again just to make sure she’d remember.

I checked my phone. She was there, by the entrance, waiting for me. She’d come to pick me up herself, thinking it ridiculous when I even mentioned the concept of calling a taxi. It was so sweet. _She_ was so sweet, and I knew I shouldn’t have expected any less but it was still such a pleasant surprise.

I rounded the corner to the entrance of the airport and I looked around. It was crowded - there were a few people with signs looking for their families, cab drivers looking for customers. I scanned the area once, twice, wondering if she’d really membered, checking my texts--

\--until finally, I spotted her.

Oh my god she was even more stunning in person. Literally breathtaking - I couldn’t breathe. She stood right next to the entrance, holding a small little piece of notebook paper with my name written on it in big, blocky green letters. My favorite color. There were little stickers on it too, they were hearts and rainbows. Oh my god. She’d made me a sign...?

She spotted me too, and a huge smile spread across her face. It was so big and unfiltered, I’d never seen her even get close to looking this happy, and it made me smile too.

She ran up to me, literally running, and in the next second her arms were around me. I let go of my bags and I hugged her as tightly as I could, not trying to restrain myself anymore. Her fingers curled against me and she nuzzled her nose into my neck. Her hair smelt like flowers, her skin was soft, she was warm and the feelings I had for her were so indescribably strong it felt like they were eating me alive, but I wasn’t scared of it anymore. They felt... right. Like I was supposed to feel them.

“Oh my god I can’t believe you’re here!!” She exclaimed, her grip on me tightening almost possessively, “You’re here, you crazy bitch, you actually came!”

I laughed, never wanting to let her go, “I’m here. I’m so glad I’m here.” Even though I knew it was real, and I knew that I’d flown all the way here, this somehow still felt like a dream. Like it could dissipate into thin air at any moment, which made me cherish every single second she was in my arms like this.

***

  
  


I loved spending time with her, hearing her talk about her life, her friends, the city, her job, anything and everything. The feelings i already so strongly had only got amplified from this interaction, from actually seeing her gorgeous, breathtaking smile in person, from being able to hold her hand and feel how soft her skin was and how many butterflies I got in my chest when she hugged me. But my mind couldn’t help but wander sometimes. Back to that late night, when she was drunk and told me things I’d never forgotten, not even for a second. God, the amount of time I spent wondering if she’d been serious. If she’d really do those things. If I really wanted her to. So much time.

She brought me to her favorite park, where there was a pond with ducks and swans you could feed if you wanted. We laid down on the grass and watched the clouds, and that was the first time I dared to hold her hand. Her fingers were long and slender and they didn’t hesitate even a second to intertwine seamlessly with mine. She scooted closer to me on the grass, and at one point stopped looking at the sky and instead turned to face me.

“What’re you thinking about?” She asked me softly, trailing her thumb gently along the back of my hand and nearly giving me goosebumps. We’d gone silent for a few dragging moments, just content to be with one another.

“I can’t believe I’m really here. That you’re really here. That you’re... even a real person.” Part of that last sentiment was from us being online friends for so long, but another part was how _gorgeous_ she was. It was jarring. Almost unbelievable. How could she even be real...?

She chuckled quietly, moving her hand to instead trail it gently along my arm, “Well believe it, cuz I’m here.”

I stared at her, getting lost in her eyes and the impossible depth there was there, “My friends were worried you were gonna try to murder me or something.” It was true. When I’d mentioned my plan to my college friends they were incredibly concerned, claiming it was some sort of catfish even though I’d talked to Jungeun over Skype plenty of times. 

She just laughed again, “We’ll get to that later, don’t worry, you’re still here for a few more days.”

***

The days went by faster than I ever could’ve thought. I’d tried to stay at my hotel, but she’d insisted not to, instead letting me use her roommates room because she’d gone home for break. Her apartment was small and cozy and we wound up spending more time there, just being comfy in pajamas and talking instead of going out on the town like she’d planned originally. We’d talk about anything and everything, for hours on end, totally losing track of all sense of time. I loved it. Those were the things I’d remember most, the things I’d lay awake thinking about. I’d never felt so strongly for someone before.

It was my last night there. She was gonna drop me off early at the airport the next morning, and there was a bitterness lingering in my chest that made all the time we spent together that day a bit rough. I think she felt it too. Sometimes we’d trail off mid conversation and just stare at each other, or she’d reach and clasp my hand without a word and squeeze it extra tight.

At what must’ve been 3 AM, we said goodnight and I headed into my room, shutting the door behind me and changing into pajamas. I was leaving. I’d had an amazing time, but I wished I could stay longer. I wished I was more bold. I wish I’d tell her how I really felt, and that she felt the same way. I wished... she’d do what she claimed she wanted to that night she was drunk and texted me without thinking. God... I wished.

There was a knock on my door right as I’d planned on getting into bed. It could only be her. What did she want...?

I got to my feet, having been sitting absentmindedly on my bed and nervously playing with my fingers. When I opened the door, she stood there, changed into her pajamas and looking at me with... a _fire_ behind her eyes I’d never seen there before. Oh goodness.

She kissed me. She kissed me, and my legs felt like they were going to give way because her lips were _soft,_ because her hands moved forward and slinked beneath the hem of my shirt to rest on my sides, because I could smell her, I could feel her, because her breaths were shorter than normal and because the _passion_ I could feel behind this kiss let me know without her needing to talk that we were going further. We just were.

She pushed me backward, laying me down and pinning me to the bed with her weight. I could feel her skin getting hotter and hotter and my head was _swimming_. She kissed me harder, deeper, her fingernails scraping slightly against my skin and I couldn’t help but whimper against her at the slight pain. She heard the noise and repeated the motion, harder. I felt heat rushing between my legs that I’d only ever felt a few times before in my life, all when thinking about her. About what she’d do if we were alone like this. And now it was happening, and my mind could barely process it.

I didn’t know what to do with my hands, but all I could think of was how badly I just wanted to _touch_ her. But I was nervous. Still so dreadfully nervous. I reached forward, trembling, and dared to rest them against the bottom of her shirt. God did I want her to take it off. I wanted to see her, all of her. I wondered if she wanted the same thing, but stopped being able to think even a single coherent thought when she snagged my lower lip between her teeth. I moaned, a soft, small sound that she heard and liked. Her nails dug into me _hard_ and my back arched off the bed, yearning to be _closer_.

When she drew away for just a moment, both of us incredibly out of breath, my eyes fluttered open but they were lidded. Her skin was flush with color and her hair was disheveled and god I’d never seen something so indescribably attractive in my entire life.

“We don’t have to...” She whispered to me in a low tone. She wanted me to be sure. I could tell. But her caution was so unnecessary.

I made sure to let her know, without a shadow of a doubt, “No, I want to.” I told her breathlessly, the desire so evident in my voice even catching me off guard. The lust behind her eyes only intensified and it gave me goosebumps, “God, I want to _so_ bad.” I moved my hands, circling them around her neck, daring to ever so slightly scrape my nails against the skin there.

She moved closer again and my heart skipped a beat, but she didn’t kiss me. Instead her lips quickly found my neck, where she started to kiss and suck and _bite_ , and more heat was rushing between my legs and I was squirming and my vision felt like it was going to blur. I pursed my lips, suppressing a longer moan. Somehow I could tell that she was losing whatever control she had left. She was losing it, and I wanted her to. I wanted her to do whatever she wanted to me.

I felt her fingers trail down, tracing along the top of my thin shorts and my hips bucked slightly all on their own. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and she must’ve been able to feel it from how close we were. I could feel hers. It was just as fast as mine.

“What do you want...?” She whispered lowly right into my ear, teasing my earlobe between her teeth. It felt like I was going to pass out if she didn’t _do something_ soon. The heat between my legs was building up and it seemed hard to even breathe.

I clung desperately to her collar, pulling her closer against me as I clenched my eyes tightly shut. I didn’t have any inhibitions anymore. No more nerves, no more shyness - all of that was secondary to this intense _desire_. So I said things I never ever would’ve pictured myself uttering in my entire life without so much as a second thought, my voice almost not sounding like my own, it was so drenched in audible lust, “I-I want your fingers, _please_.” The desperation dripping from the request made the air in the room get impossibly dense.

She slinked her fingers past my waistband and gripped it tightly, trailing her tongue ever so slightly along the side of my neck, “Where do you want them?” Although she asked, she was already pushing my shorts down. My hips rose slightly off the bed, letting her pull them fully off my legs, but god, this _teasing_. It was _killing_ me. She traced her fingers along my thighs, never bringing them close enough to where I needed them most.

“ _Fuck_ , Jungeun, I-I...” A blush finally came to my cheeks at the realization of what I was going to have to say, if she was serious about this. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to. That was just so... bad. And I wasn’t like that. Right...?

She wasn’t joking. She couldn’t have been more serious. At my lack of a response she moved her hand further away, instead resting it on my stomach, “ _Where?_ ” Her voice was firm, practically just a growl. The heat between my legs got so intense I was almost worried. My back arched again, startled at just how much I loved hearing her talk like that.

Fuck it.

“In me, I-I want them in me, god, _please_.”

She let out a shaky breath, the way I was begging clearly affecting her. And finally, _finally_ , she pushed aside my underwear and I felt two of her fingers suddenly sliding into me.

Oh my _g o d._

I balled up fistfuls of her shirt, letting out a raw moan that almost hurt my throat, my back arching off the bed and a wave of pure pleasure hitting me so hard I physically jolted. She remained steady somehow, her warm breaths I could still hear next to my ear getting uneven. Her free hand rested at the small of my back, like she was trying to support me, and it was appreciated because it honestly felt like I was about to crumble into nothing.

“There...” She whispered lowly in my ear again, but I almost couldn’t hear. I shut my eyes, feeling my hips grinding against the slow pumping of her fingers, my brain practically short circuiting. She was rattled. I could tell, and her next words only solidified it, “God, Haseul you’re so wet, Jesus...”

I just whimpered from the comment, not knowing what to say. Of course I was. How could I not be?

I felt her teeth again and the sensation made my heart nearly stop as she bit down hard on my shoulder. She pulled away from the mark she must have left, leaving the spot with a light kiss before returning to my ear and whispering to me again, “Talk. I want to hear you.” She slowed her pace even further when all I wanted was for it to be _fast_. I wanted it to be harder, faster, I just wanted _more_ , but it felt like I couldn’t even talk.

What was I supposed to say?

Without needing to think, words started to leave me, coming from somewhere deep and guttural and primal that I hadn’t even known was in me, “Ahh, J-Jungeun, harder, please-- _ah!_ ” As soon as I’d asked that, she thrust both of her fingers in me abruptly, up to the knuckle, and I couldn’t help but cry out, my grip on her tightening so much it must have hurt. She didn’t so much as flinch.

She continued with that pace and that intensity and I knew I wasn’t going to last long if she kept this up. I was blushing, my chest heaving, my breaths only coming to me in short sharp bursts of sparse inhales, and she could tell. Out of nowhere she started to slow down, moving to whisper to me again, “I want to try something.”

My ears pricked up at her words, even in my incredibly flustered state, “W-what...?” My whole body seemed to deflate when she pulled her fingers from me and I couldn’t help but whine at the loss of contact, though my core was throbbing from their removal. I only got even more confused when she drew away from me fully, sitting up on the bed.

Any complaints I may have had were instantly forgotten when she reached and peeled her tight tank top off. She wasn’t wearing a bra. My jaw dropped but I couldn’t help it, not even trying to hide the reaction. Oh jesus. Her skin was flushed but so flawless and smooth, and I knew it was soft. But I wanted to check.

She was straddling me, and I quickly sat up as well, my lips finding her collarbone in an instant. I kissed the skin there, marvelling at how impossibly soft it turned out to be. My hands moved, tracing circles along it, loving the way that I felt her tense from the way I touched her. Her fingers tangled themselves in the back of my hair, tugging me closer, urging me to do more, and I knew what she was asking without her needing to say another word.

Though I felt my nerves beginning to creep up on me again from how new all of this was, and how I’d never done anything even remotely like this in my life, I didn’t hesitate to move toward one of her breasts and kiss it. Her back arched into me. I trailed my hands down, digging my nails into her hips and pulling her closer, feeling like I’d never be close enough, like I could never get enough of her.

She tugged me closer again, “Haseul...” She didn’t need to say anymore, but _god_ , hearing her say my name like that, just...

I wrapped my lips around one of her nipples, flicking my tongue against the sensitive bud, digging my nails further into her skin and hoping that I was leaving marks. I wanted to mark her.

“Mmnnn _fff_...” I heard her groan out, biting her lower lip. I looked up at her, revelling in her expression and how desperate she looked. Her waist started to move, and I could feel her grinding herself against me, wanting some sort of friction. I moved one of my hands, slipping it between her legs and daring to rest it there. She was warm, and I could feel a wetness starting to grow even through her shorts, “There--” She squeaked out, brow crinkled in the middle, eyes closed, “Keep... keep your hand there...” She told me softly, the instruction actually mildly appreciated, because this was all 100% uncharted territory for me.

I moved it ever so slightly and felt one of my fingers brush against a small bud, only for her to yelp adorably and suddenly cling harder to my hair, her grip so tight it nearly hurt, “ _Aaah. Fuck._ ” Okay, so that was good. I held my hand there, starting to rub slow circles against it, and she just started to totally come apart at the seams. She whimpered and moaned - the sounds of it absolutely addictive to hear. God, I wanted to make her feel good. She kept grinding against my hand, her motions sporadic and _so_ desperate, “ _Fuck,_ Haseul, I-I... don’t stop, d-don’t...” I pressed against the bud with my thumb and she almost screamed, “ _Oh_ my _god,_ ” I felt her whole body clench and I knew I was doing something right.

I moved, kissing along her slender neck softly - a change of pace from everything else I was doing, but wanting to remind her of how deeply I felt for her. I wanted her to know that there was so much more behind this than simple lust, and I was too scared to do it with words, so I just left a trail of feathery kisses along her jawline, putting as much emotion into the simple gestures as I could. She felt it. I could tell she did, because with a trembling, twitching hand, she tilted my head toward her to plant a very light kiss on my temple. My heart was swelling. Was this even real?

Out of nowhere, I felt her body jolt, and she practically collapsed against me. She was shaking and her grip on me tightened, letting out a dragging, strained groan. I held her, letting her ride it out, knowing that she was done.

After she’d calmed down a bit, she drew back and kissed me wordlessly. But it wasn’t a light kiss, it was hard. Deep. Intense. Oh. She was done, but I hadn’t finished, and she hadn’t at all forgotten that. I already felt myself shaking at the thought of whatever she had in mind.

She broke away, just barely, whispering against my lips, “Your turn.” Before drawing away, she bit my lower lip again, daring to pull slightly on it. My heart was in my throat. She looked at me, her eyes like fire all over again although she was still slightly out of breath, “Lay down.”

I nodded dumbly, the blush that had left my cheeks for only a few seconds now returning in full force. I did as she said, expecting her to climb on top of me again, only for her to stay put. What was she doing...? _Oh_.

Before I had a chance to question a single thing, her head was between my thighs.

I half sat up again, balling up fistfuls of the sheets in efforts to keep myself down, but oh, oh my god?? I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel _anything_ besides her _tongue_ , and... fuck.

I was squirming but I couldn’t help it. She moved her arm, holding me down because my back kept arching and I kept bucking my hips against her from how intense all this was. Her free hand moved to instead rub circles against the same bud I’d touched on her and _oh--_ so that was why she’d finished so fast.

“Jun-- _Jungeun, fffuck_...” Her tongue moved, slipping fully inside me, and I swear I saw stars. She’d absolutely done this before and I had absolutely no problem with that. My mind flashed back to that text she’d sent me, so late at night when she was drunk: “I want to be your first.” Well she’d gotten her wish, and I was so indescribably glad that she was the one to do this.

I looked down at her, only to see her eyes open, staring dead at me. Oh my god that was so hot? I could see her tongue moving, her finger still circling against me, and the glint behind her eyes was so... wow. Something flickered behind them and I remembered what she’d said earlier. She wanted me to talk. Honestly I doubted my ability to form a single word, but I’d try for her, if that was what she wanted. I’d do anything she wanted.

I couldn’t think of anything besides what she was _doing_ , so that was all I could say, “I-I, Jungeun, god, I-I love your tongue i-inside me, fuck,” I felt myself blushing at what I actually said, but I could see that she liked it. She nodded ever so slightly, her eyes getting darker. My hands held tighter onto the sheets, toes curling, “Keep... keep going, I-I want it, aah, that feels... mmmff...”

Despite what I said, she abruptly withdrew and I whined, raising an eyebrow but stopping still when I saw the predatory look on her face. Her lips were glistening as she spoke to me in a low, intense tone, “Tell me to fuck you.”

My heart skipped a beat, my blush spreading to my neck at how _bad_ she was being, but I honestly wasn’t surprised. Jungeun was definitely the type to be like this in the bedroom, I just... hadn’t really let myself think about this for too long and thus wasn’t at all prepared for it. But... I wasn’t complaining.

My voice was weak, but I hated that she stopped, so I forced the words out, “Fuck me...” She edged closer, but didn’t make contact. God she was _killing me_.

“Louder.” She was so demanding.

I didn’t hesitate, wanting it so bad it felt like I was going to die, “Fuck me,” I made myself speak more clearly, though the words still trembled and sounded so much more like a polite request than a demand.

She inched closer, ever so closer, but still wasn’t touching me, “I want you to scream it.” Her nails dug into my inner thigh, leaving a scratch toward my center as she trailed her fingers toward it. Catching me totally off guard, that finger suddenly thrust straight into me, “ _Scream it_.”

It was so much easier now that I had that new contact, “ _Fuck me!_ ” God I hoped her neighbors couldn’t hear. If I was being realistic, they probably could. I was really being loud.

“Good.” She thrust her finger in deeper, curling it and hitting a spot I hadn’t known was there, “Keep going.” She told me sternly, leaning forward and circling that same bud with her tongue this time.

“Ahhh, _fuck, f-fuck me!”_ I forced out, the scream nearly hurting my throat from how raw it was. I felt her nod in approval again, adding a second finger, curling them both. I rose from the bed, feeling like I was going to fly off into space, “F-ffff... _fuck me,_ Jungeun-ahhhhhh, don’t stop, _fuck me_...” Her tongue flicked against that bud and her fingers kept _going_ , pulling all the way out before being thrust hard all the way back in, and I was fading fast. I could feel it.

“J-Jungeun, I-I’m, I-I...” I didn’t know what to say, but I could barely talk anymore. My vision was blurring, my heart was beating so hard and fast I was scared I’d have a heart attack, it suddenly seemed like the hardest thing in the world just to get a breath in, and I knew I was close. She nodded against me but didn’t stop.

And suddenly it all just hit me at once, and it felt like I was flying, and I felt everything but went numb all at once, and I couldn’t think a single thing besides how much I felt for her. And it was _so_ _much_.

She slowed all of her movements, pulling her hand away, her tongue stopping. She was out of breath and she was blushing, her hair messed up and disheveled. She tried to smooth it down with slightly trembling hands, sitting back up and letting out a long breath.

“God...” She wiped at her lip with her thumb, looking up at me and the absolute mess I still was. She crawled back up to be at my side, laying with me and resting her hand gently on my chest.

I turned my head to look at her, still trying and failing to catch my breath and even remotely compose myself, “I am...” I edged closer, making sure she stared straight into my eyes when I spoke, “... _so_ glad you decided to do that.”

She just giggled adorably, closing the space between us to plant a soft, incredibly emotional kiss on my lips. I kissed her back, trying to show her how much I felt, how _intensely_ I felt all those things, wishing more than anything that I just had the courage to tell her out loud. Her hand on my chest trailed up to instead trace along my jaw.

When she broke away, she was already whispering to me, “And I’m so glad that you’re here...” She paused, leaving me in suspense, because I could tell there was something else she wanted to say. What was it...? “Because...” There was the slightest tinge of fear to her voice. My eyes opened although hers were still closed. She was blushing, “...ahh fuck it, you’re leaving tomorrow.” She drew away slightly, opening her eyes to stare deeply at me.

“What is it...?” I asked, my voice soft and reflecting how worried I was. Whatever she was about to say was going to make or ruin my life, I just knew it.

She smiled ever so slightly, “I really really like you. In case you couldn’t already tell, yaknow, from...” She gestured vaguely toward me, “...that.” The blush on her cheeks intensified, and I couldn’t believe that the girl who had just told me to “tell her to fuck me” was now embarrassed about confessing her feelings. What?? And why was it the cutest thing I’d ever seen in my life?

Her nervousness was so incredibly endearing and also so unnecessary. To show her that, I leaned forward, kissing her with everything I had, smiling the entire time. She smiled too. God I’d never been this happy in my whole life.

She pulled back first, “So... do you...?”  
  


“Yes. Jungeun I’ve been head over heels for you for months.” I didn’t feel any need to hide it anymore. I wanted to be as real with her as possible, I wanted to be 100% honest, because god, I felt closer with her than I ever had with anyone.

She smiled so wide and it was so genuine, I just... I was really, _really_ whipped, “Wow, I’m...” She laughed, shaking her head back and forth, “God, I’m... so happy? I-I...” Her hands moved, resting on my sides and pulling me closer, “I’m gonna say something crazy, okay...?”

I nodded, “Okay.” I couldn’t stop smiling either.

“I think I’m in love with you.” She whispered it, like it was a secret, which I guess it was. God she seemed so uncertain about confessing that. But she shouldn’t. Because I’d been thinking the same exact thing for months.

Just when I’d thought I couldn’t possibly be happier, she dropped that on me. Somehow things felt like they were just... perfect, and could never be wrong again, as long as I had her. I tightened my grip on her, pulling her impossibly closer.

“I think I’m in love with you too."


	4. My Pleasure [CHUUVES]

“I can’t _believe_ you actually went into DIA’s van!!” Chaewon teased Hyejoo for what must’ve been the twentieth time that night, and they’d only been back at the dorm for an hour or so. The sun had started to set, and the twelve girls were doing their best to wind down. Winding down for their energetic group usually entailed excited chatter for a few hours until someone passed out, and then a domino effect was created until a disappointed Yeojin was the only one remaining. Nobody had quite yet to fall asleep, but Jiwoo noticed that Sooyoung seemed pretty close.

The subunit leader was leaning against the kitchen counter, her eyes shut and slender fingers massaging at her temples. She’d been known to get headaches every now and then that would sometimes progress into migraines. Jiwoo knew that they were from stress; the older girl held herself to such high standards. It was admirable, of course, but it made Jiwoo worry. While all the other girls were bustling around the dorm as per usual, chasing each other, rambling on about antics that happened during pre-recordings, playing games and enjoying their fleeting free time, Sooyoung was trying to fight off a headache.

Jiwoo frowned, quietly walking toward the older girl and wordlessly wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. Sooyoung stiffened at first, caught off guard by the contact, but then leaned into the embrace.

“You okay?” Jiwoo questioned softly, her voice low enough so none of the other girls would hear. She’d learned that Sooyoung wasn’t the type to broadcast her instability or stress, not wanting to seem like she was complaining. Jiwoo had learned through trial and error that if you asked her on a more individual level, she was a bit more likely to open up.

Sooyoung just sighed, running her palm down her face and forcing a weak smile to it, “I’m... just tired. That’s all.”

That wasn’t true. Jiwoo knew that, but she could tell that Sooyoung didn’t feel like talking about it any more directly, and that was okay. She just squeezed her ever so slightly and spoke in a sincere, empathizing tone. “Okay. Maybe go to bed early? I’ll guard the door and won’t let Chae or Hyejoo in if they’re gonna be loud, so you can actually get some rest. How about that?”

Sooyoung nodded weakly, reaching her hands to rest them against Jiwoo’s. The older girl took a deep breath before whispering so quietly that Jiwoo struggled to hear it over the excited shouting of the others. “I messed up the choreo. I stumbled.” Her voice nearly broke.

Jiwoo’s grip tightened again at the sound, a protectiveness emerging in her that she hadn’t expected. “That doesn’t matter. I’m sure it won’t come out in the recording.”

Sooyoung shook her head, smiling bitterly. “I guess. But the people in the audience would’ve seen. I don’t want people to think I can’t do my own fucking choreo. That’s my _job_. To know the choreo and to get it _right_.” A bitterness tinged her words, as well as an intense anger toward herself that shouldn’t have been there.

“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Jiwoo told her firmly, wanting Sooyoung to believe her and take it to heart. She’d always known that Sooyoung pushed herself to be the very best, which didn’t sound detrimental on paper, but when put into practice? It was too intense. Her standards for herself were too high, almost unattainable. Everyone was bound to make mistakes sometimes, people were only human, but to Sooyoung, they were unacceptable errors.

The older girl squirmed her way out of Jiwoo’s grasp. “It’s whatever. I just need to be better.” As if it was that simple.

Jiwoo’s brow furrowed, the younger girl not hesitating to show her concern. “You don’t. You’re already amazing. I’m always so impressed by you.”

Sooyoung scoffed under her breath, avoiding eye contact. “You’re just saying tha--”

“--I’m not.”

The two were quiet for a few moments, just staring deeply at one another. Sooyoung let herself get lost in Jiwoo’s eyes, searching for the slightest trace of falsehood or exaggeration, but there was none. Jiwoo was being absolutely honest, and it actually had impact on Sooyoung. Maybe she _was_ overreacting. Maybe she _was_ pushing herself too hard, and stressing over inconsequential things. She knew she was a perfectionist. Maybe... maybe she could let this go. She took another deep breath, trying to expel some of the lingering tension from her shoulders.

“Thank you,” Was all she could manage out, not used to the intense sentiment she was feeling in her chest or the fluttering in her stomach. Jiwoo just smiled at her with that warm, lovely smile she’d grown so fond of. It was hard, but Sooyoung returned it with the best one she could manage. “I’m gonna take you up on that offer,” the older girl added as she headed down the hall to their shared room. Jiwoo stuck to her heels, “Please keep those gremlins out of here so I can actually sleep.”

“You’ve got it! I’m on guard duty.” The younger girl made her posture straight as a pin, saluting her leader. Sooyoung just looked at her with a fondness visible behind her eyes she couldn’t keep back before leaning closer and planting a quick kiss on the younger girl’s cheek. Jiwoo blinked twice, dazed and blushing. Sooyoung just smiled again before gently shutting the door, leaving a flustered Jiwoo alone with her thoughts in the hallway.

Jiwoo’s heart was beating at twice the speed for what must’ve been half an hour.

xxx

Jiwoo walked softly down the hallway of their normally bustling dorm, tracing her fingertips absentmindedly along the walls and humming quietly to herself. It was always surreal to be there alone, without the sound of eleven other girls bickering or screaming or singing. The quiet was nice, an ironic sentiment coming from her, as she tended to be one of the louder members of the group, but she liked to be alone with her thoughts sometimes. It was why she’d decided to stay back and nap on one of their few nights off, while the other girls had all opted to go out in the city together.

To her knowledge, everyone had left. Most of the rooms were empty, and she hadn’t heard a sound after a big cluster of the girls had clamored out the door and slammed it shut behind them. She hadn’t exactly done a headcount, but based on the silence, she was alone. Or so she thought.

Jiwoo stopped mid-stroll at a peculiar sound she didn’t quite recognize. The door to her dorm room was cracked ever so slightly open, but the lights inside were off. Her brow furrowed. Was someone else home? Curious, she crept closer and pushed the door open ever so slightly, peering through the crack.

She was _not_ prepared for what she saw.

It was Sooyoung. She was sitting on of one of the two lower bunks and leaning against the wall, her breathing erratic. She wore nothing except dark, lace panties and a matching bra that only stayed on her chest by one strap, the other half-shrugged off and seemingly forgotten. Her eyes were closed and a sheen of slight sweat was visible on her flushed skin. What caught Jiwoo’s wide eyes was Sooyoung’s hand, however, out of view beneath those panties and moving up and down, rhythmically. The older girl was struggling to keep herself quiet, a plush red bottom lip being nursed with dazzling white teeth. Elegant brows were knitted tightly together.

Jiwoo knew this wasn’t something she was supposed to be seeing. Sooyoung was likely in the same boat as her, having assumed that she’d left with the others. She hadn’t even shut the door all the way. Jiwoo felt her heart start to race, heat flooding her cheeks. She wasn’t supposed to be looking, but she didn’t care. The younger girl leaned against the doorframe, taking in the sight of her leader’s toned abs, the curves of her hips, her collar bones, and the uneven rising and falling of her chest.

Jiwoo had always admired the older girl. Sometimes she caught herself staring when they had to change, but she couldn’t help it. Sooyoung’s body was _ridiculous_. Jiwoo sometimes doubted it was even real, and felt an urge to sneak small touches every now and then, wondering if the illusion would crumble away from contact. It never did. Jiwoo had never forgotten the feeling of “accidentally” brushing her fingers along Sooyoung’s abs when she’d hugged the older girl while she wore a crop top. The sensation had been imprinted in her mind and hadn’t left since.

Jiwoo would’ve been content to stare forever and to do only that, just stare, and admire, and daydream like she’d been doing. It was also nice to listen. The small noises Sooyoung was making were indescribably attractive - small whimpers and airy moans. The younger girl _would_ have been content, if Sooyoung hadn’t started to speak in a strained, desperate voice that Jiwoo struggled to hear and only barely caught.

Sooyoung’s back arched into the motions of her own hand and she gasped slightly, “Fuck...” Jiwoo felt her knees quake from hearing her leader curse that way. She tried to keep the profanity to a minimum around the dorm (or Haseul tried to at least, and Sooyoung grudgingly cooperated). Jiwoo dared to edge closer, not wanting to miss whatever profanities slipped from Sooyoung’s lips. “ _Fuck_... Jiwoo, ahh...”

Jiwoo blinked twice, the blush to her cheeks intensifying. Had she heard that right...? Had Sooyoung just said - no, _moaned_ \- her name? It made Jiwoo’s heart beat even faster, and a flood of heat rushed between her legs. She felt herself getting lightheaded. For a few more lingering seconds, Jiwoo found herself rooted to her spot. But once she worked through her initial shock, she felt compelled to act. To move.

Putting on the most unaffected face she could manage, Jiwoo walked forward, pushing the door open as if she’d just mindlessly walked in. As if she had no idea what Sooyoung was doing, like this was nonchalant. She stopped after a single step into the room, feigning shock and surprise at the sight, but not looking away. It was as if she really _couldn’t_ look away. Sooyoung had heard the door squeak and she stopped what she was doing in an instant, yelping quietly in surprise and shame. She tugged her hand from her panties and for some reason hid it behind her back, as if Jiwoo hadn’t seen the wetness visibly on the older girl’s slender fingers.

“Ah! Jiwoo! U-um!” Sooyoung frantically moved her bra strap back onto her shoulder, snatching up the pillow at her side and using it to cover herself as best as she could. Her face was so red the blush had spread to her neck and ears. Jiwoo had never seen her embarrassed before, and she didn’t quite like it. She liked confident Sooyoung, shameless Sooyoung. But, to her surprise, she hadn’t expected the slight surge of excitement that shot through her at the thought of Sooyoung _not_ taking charge for once. Of Sooyoung listening to _her_ , of Sooyoung letting herself be taken care of for once instead of always making sure things were taken care of.

Sooyoung held the pillow tightly against her chest, pulling her legs up against her, “I-I thought you left with the others?” She was still struggling to catch her breath. Jiwoo had never been more attracted to a person in her entire life.

“No...” Jiwoo couldn’t help but let her eyes wander up the porcelain, flawless skin of Sooyoung’s bare legs, and she didn’t care if she was being obvious.

“Shit, did you see that?” Sooyoung asked nervously, dreading the answer. Jiwoo didn’t say anything, just _stared_. Sooyoung felt the pleasure she’d been giving herself fading, ebbing away, and part of her was disappointed. She’d waited for all the girls to be out just so she could have this time, so she could relieve herself of some of her built up tension, only to be barged in on like this. She couldn’t be mad, of course. She could never be genuinely mad at Jiwoo. Maybe it was the thoughts lingering in the back of her mind from what she’d been doing, but there seemed to be a fire behind Jiwoo’s eyes - something she’d never seen before. A passion that only made Sooyoung want to finish what she’d started even more.

Jiwoo had still failed to answer Sooyoung’s question, but the answer was pretty self-explanatory based on the girl’s uncharacteristic silence. Sooyoung sighed heavily. “Just... please forget you saw this or I’ll literally die from embarrassment, okay?”

As if she could forget. Both of them were aware that was far-fetched, but Sooyoung didn’t quite understand just how affected Jiwoo was by witnessing this. Deep down, Jiwoo had made a decision. She was going to help Sooyoung relax. For once, even if it was just for a few minutes, _Jiwoo_ was going to be the leader here.

The younger girl took a step closer and Sooyoung raised one of her perfectly arched eyebrows. She didn’t have much time to wonder, however.

“I saw you,” Jiwoo stated plainly, her voice lower than Sooyoung had ever heard it before. The older girl hadn’t anticipated the shiver that would shoot down her spine and make her start to tingle. Jiwoo was only getting closer, nearly reaching the bed by that point. Sooyoung felt her blush deepen with every step Jiwoo took, wondering partially if she’d fallen asleep after she’d finished and just started to dream this up. But it felt real. “And I heard you.”

Sooyoung couldn’t help but flinch, blinking hard. Her whole body was starting to shake. “...you heard me?”

Jiwoo nodded, not missing a beat. “I heard you say my name while you touched yourself.” She reached the edge of the bed and climbed onto it, crawling toward her leader who found herself instinctively backing away. Sooyoung was absolutely shocked, finding it difficult to catch her breath. She still wasn’t entirely unconvinced that she was hallucinating this somehow, because this was _not_ the Jiwoo that she knew. “Were you thinking of me? Fucking you?”

Sooyoung almost gasped aloud, “What?? N-no, I-I was just--” She was. That was exactly what she’d been thinking of, but it wasn’t like she was going to _admit_ that. Jiwoo was her fellow member. They couldn’t... _do_ this. And Sooyoung was supposed to be her leader, her mentor. The two were close. Sooyoung had caught a few of the looks shot her way, she’d cherished some of the small brushes of skin, she’d come to be incredibly affectionate of this girl, so... yes, her mind had wandered to some not so platonic places. To some... not so _appropriate_ places, but she couldn’t help it. And if Jiwoo really had heard her, she couldn’t quite deny it either, could she?

Jiwoo was edging closer and closer and Sooyoung didn’t have anywhere else to go. She bumped against her headboard and pressed herself against the cold metal, still clutching the pillow to her torso. “W-what’re you doing?”

Jiwoo reached forward suddenly, grabbing that pillow and tugging it away. Sooyoung could’ve held onto it more firmly, could’ve offered some resistance, but she didn’t. She watched as it was tossed over the younger girl’s shoulder, landing somewhere else in the room.

“Don’t try to deny it. I heard you. What’s the point?” She crawled closer on the bed, letting her eyes start to freely roam Sooyoung’s recently exposed skin. The older girl was startled. She hadn’t expected Jiwoo to look at her like this, so predatorial, but with a tinge of that familiar unconditional admiration and genuine affection still there.

Sooyoung felt her eyes started to get lidded, watching in excitement as Jiwoo’s face inched closer and closer to hers. She wanted to kiss her. Deep down, Sooyoung knew that she’d always wanted to kiss her, but she’d restrained herself. Now, with the younger girl mere inches from her face, she wasn’t so sure if she’d be able to resist anymore. “I-I... I-I’m.... just...” Sooyoung leaned closer, about to totally lose it and just _kiss_ this girl, only to be stopped dead in her tracks by Jiwoo’s hand between her legs.

She yelped involuntarily from the contact. “You’re wet,” Jiwoo whispered huskily. Sooyoung’s wide eyes stared deeply into Jiwoo’s dark ones, enthralled and _incredibly_ attracted to her decisive, demanding tone, “And you want me.”

This was unbelievable. For a few moments, Sooyoung still had no idea where all of this dominance and assertiveness was coming from, but when she thought more on it, she remembered something. They were both aware that they were lesbians, they’d talked about ex-girlfriends before and had both laughed at the irony when they were told by BBC what the concept for Jiwoo’s music video would be. One time, when they’d been up drinking late at night in Hungary before their music video shooting, Jiwoo had gotten plastered and a tipsy Sooyoung had playfully asked her about her sex life. Jiwoo explained that one of her old girlfriends liked it when she took the dominant role, and although it hadn’t been her thing at first, she’d quickly started to like it too. Sooyoung almost hadn’t believed her, even back then, because she absolutely couldn’t see the adorable, bright, cooperative Jiwoo doing anything that even remotely resemble being dominant. Now, though? While that same seemingly innocent girl stared at her with eyes like fire and spoke with that low, sultry tone? Sooyoung’s mind had _definitely_ changed.

Jiwoo teasingly slinked two of her fingers past the waistband of Sooyoung’s panties but let them hover. Sooyoung tensed up, her next inhale getting caught in her throat but her back arching as if on its own. She craved the contact, she knew she did, but she wasn’t one to be submissive. That had never been her style, and she wasn’t sure how to do it. Sometimes, she wasn’t even touched at all. It wasn’t that she didn’t _want_ to be, just that the other girl tended to wind up so incredibly wiped out that she could hardly move, let alone reciprocate efficiently.

Jiwoo edged closer, breaking the two’s prolonged, intense eye contact and moving so her lips ever so slightly brushed along the sensitive skin beneath Sooyoung’s ear. The older girl whimpered, even just from that, already quivering.

“Sooyoung-ah,” Jiwoo dropped honorifics, something she did rather rarely, and it made the older girl feel like she was melting. “Let me take care of you... just for tonight.” A delicate kiss was placed on the curve of Sooyoung’s neck and the leader pursed her lips to prevent an outright moan.

They shouldn’t do this. Although Sooyoung’s mind was clouded by an intense, _deep_ desire and _lust_ , she knew that this shouldn’t happen. Part of it was because of the semi-professional relationship they were supposed to maintain, and the lines that shouldn’t be crossed within the group, and another part was much more personal. Sooyoung had a feeling that she would like this a bit too much. That after this, there would be things deeper than just lust that would be even harder to suppress than primal urges. It wouldn’t be good for either of them to develop real feelings for each other; that would complicate things endlessly. Not only that, but Jiwoo was underestimating just how often Sooyoung thought about things like this. If Jiwoo was offering her a potential outlet with no strings attached, then the older girl would seek it out _way_ more often than either of them should be doing it.

Sooyoung took a deep, much needed breath, bracing herself for how frustratingly mature she was about to be, “We... probably shouldn’t.”

She could feel those soft lips pout against her skin, “Why? It doesn’t have to leave this room. I promise...” Jiwoo dared to slink those fingers a bit further down, brushing them every so slightly against Sooyoung’s bundle of nerves, making Sooyoung muffle a curse under her breath. “You’re so wet for me...” The younger girl mumbled that, as if to herself, awestruck.

Sooyoung felt herself coming apart at the seams, her already weak resolve crumbling at its foundations. She was only human. With what was left of her reason, she reached down, clasping Jiwoo’s wrist and slightly tugging her hand away, “It’s... not that I don’t want to. But... Jiwoo, I...” The younger girl withdrew slightly so that their eyes met, and Sooyoung found herself getting lost there. “You don’t get just _how_ bad I want this... and... I don’t mean just because I’m horny, I mean, that’s part of it, but...” She let herself stare, enthralled by how beautiful Jiwoo was and slowly realizing that it was too late. She’d _already_ had feelings for this girl, and she’d just pretended they weren’t there, that they were platonic, or basic lust. That wasn’t true. It never had been. Oh no, what had she gotten herself into?

Jiwoo was startlingly perceptive, instantly understanding Sooyoung’s emotions, and something changed behind her eyes. The younger girl hadn’t quite known what would happen from her barging into Sooyoung’s room like this, but she _definitely_ hadn’t expected Sooyoung to confess to her. The younger girl felt her heart flutter, butterflies stirring in her chest. If anything, this just made her want to take care of Sooyoung even _more_.

Instead of speaking, Jiwoo put all of her deepest emotions and sentiments into a kiss. Sooyoung stiffened from the contact, eyes going wide, her heart swelling. It was as if the emotions she’d only just processed she had somehow managed to intensify tenfold from this contact, from the feeling of Jiwoo’s impossibly soft lips being pressed against hers with such _passion_ and _care_. The older girl relaxed, reaching forward and gripping Jiwoo’s shirt with white knuckles, tugging her closer. The younger girl deepened the kiss, pressing Sooyoung hard against the headboard and loving the way she could feel her tremble. Her hand that was still slightly wet from the older girl’s arousal moved, instead pressing against the small of Sooyoung’s back, making it arch. Jiwoo expected a bit more resistance to the idea, but she had a creeping suspicion that Sooyoung actually wanted to be dominated.

Sooyoung broke away, trying to speak, but was cut off by Jiwoo’s persistent, desperate kisses, barely managing to get out a fragmented sentence, “I... should tell you... to stop...” She pulled Jiwoo closer by her hips, the younger girl straddling her automatically, the two molding into the position so intrinsically and naturally it was as if they’d never known anything else.

Getting too caught up in the moment, Jiwoo found herself grinding her waist along Sooyoung’s, craving the contact, craving friction, and the older girl moaned. She didn’t know how long she’d be able to keep up this facade of attempting to stop this, when all she wanted was for it to go _further_.

Jiwoo knew that, so she pulled back, only to hone her lips on Sooyoung’s neck and leave small nips along it, loving the way it made her squirm. “You ‘ _should_.’ But you won’t. Because you want this, I know you do.” The younger girl bit down hard enough to leave a mark on Sooyoung’s shoulder, careful to put it in a place that would likely be covered by their stage outfits. She recognized and understood Sooyoung’s caution, but she didn’t want to let it stop this - something they both _clearly_ wanted and had wanted for a while. Why waste any more time?

Sooyoung shut her eyes, feeling herself getting absolutely lost in all of the sensations coursing through her. “I...”

“Please, unnie. You’re always working so hard. You’re always the leader. Let _me_ lead _you_. You can just relax, and let me make you feel good...” Jiwoo’s hand trailed down, further and further, and she noticed the way Sooyoung’s breath quickened the lower it got.

Jiwoo’s request was so sincere and heartfelt. How could Sooyoung possibly say no? She didn’t care about the consequences anymore, or what the aftermath might be. More than _anything_ she just wanted to let Jiwoo do whatever she wanted. Her mind was hazy with lust and desire, she could only think to say one thing in a quiet, airy whisper. “Make me yours.”

Jiwoo trembled from the earnest plea, and her first instinct was to kiss Sooyoung all over again, the contact burning with a passion so intense it instantly melted away whatever was left of Sooyoung’s inhibitions. Sooyoung dug her nails into Jiwoo’s hips, wanting to mark her, but Jiwoo’s hands shot down and clasped Sooyoung’s wrists, pinning them back and against the cold metal headboard. The contact was so rough and sudden that their kiss broke, the two staring at each other hard. Sooyoung hadn’t expected the intensity behind Jiwoo’s eyes and it made a wave of heat wash over her.

“No,” Jiwoo told her lowly. “No touching. Only I get to touch you.” Sooyoung pouted ever so slightly, honestly wanting more than anything to strip Jiwoo down until there was nothing covering her anymore, and to let her hands roam, but apparently that wasn’t allowed. Jiwoo edged closer, their lips ghosting against one another. “We’ll save that for another time. Tonight is about you. Only you. Okay?”

Sooyoung nodded weakly. “Okay...”

Jiwoo smiled cheekily at the compliance, a smile Sooyoung normally would’ve expected to see, but in this context, it made her tremble. Jiwoo moved to clasp both of Sooyoung’s wrists together, pinning them above the older girl’s head, as if not fully trusting her to keep them to herself. That was valid. Sooyoung already wasn’t sure if she was capable of not touching Jiwoo, but she wanted to listen. She wanted to be good, to do what she was told, which was sort of startling. That wasn’t like her in the slightest.

Jiwoo trailed her free hand back down to the waistband of Sooyoung’s panties. This time, instead of simply pushing beneath them, the younger girl started to tug them off. Sooyoung raised her hips off the bed for easier access and Jiwoo pushed the bothersome garment down to her leader’s knees, who then took the liberty of slipping them down further and kicking them away. Before those had even been fully removed, Jiwoo had already reached around to the clasp of Sooyoung’s bra and undid it, releasing her grip on Sooyoung’s wrists for just a moment so she could take it off.

“I want to see all of you.” The younger girl whispered sweetly, the demanding tone to her voice having faded for a fleeting moment of sincerity she couldn’t seem to keep back. The sentiment of this both being their first time with each other wasn't lost on them, despite all of the intense, overwhelming lust.

Sooyoung found herself blushing for some reason once she was fully exposed. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed - far from it, she was incredibly confident in her body. It was that Jiwoo was looking at her with such pure _awe_. As if she was the most beautiful thing the younger girl had ever seen. It took a few seconds and a few hard, deliberate blinks, but Jiwoo seemed to snap herself out of it after a long stare, switching back into her role of dominance.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Jiwoo couldn’t hold back her admiration.

Sooyoung took a deep breath, “A-and what if I want to see you, too?” She almost instinctively reached forward to grab the hem of Jiwoo’s shirt and tug it off, but her wrists were still pinned. Jiwoo tightened her grip on them, as if to remind her of the no touching rule nonverbally.

“No. Another time.” It wasn’t up for discussion. Sooyoung knew that, though that didn’t stop her from undressing Jiwoo with her eyes. Jiwoo sighed slightly, seeming frustrated that Sooyoung still found herself relatively unable to shed her role as leader and give into being submissive, to let herself only receive instead of giving. “Don’t fight me on this. Let _me_ make _you_ feel good... okay?” She leaned closer, trailing warm, soft kisses along Sooyoung’s jaw. “What do you like?”

It was a sweet question, but Sooyoung was a bit unsure of what to say. If she was going to be dominated, she’d at least want to be _fully_ dominated, with few niceties and little politeness. She had a feeling that those two factors were inherently ingrained in Jiwoo, so it’d take a lot on her part to shake them, but would she, if Sooyoung specifically asked? Perhaps.

“Be vulgar.” Sooyoung told her, knowing that this would probably be the last time the whole night that she’d actually get to call any of the shots.

Jiwoo hummed curiously against Sooyoung’s smooth skin. “Vulgar how?”

The older girl didn’t miss a beat, honestly having pictured the scenario enough times in her head to recite it in an instant. “Instead of saying you want to ‘make me feel good,’ just be blunt. Tell me you want to make me cum.” Jiwoo giggled slightly on instinct, blushing from the straightforwardness but also feeling heat between her legs again. The younger girl knew that must’ve been how Sooyoung would talk to the girls she’d been with - it had left her so naturally. It might sound a bit less natural coming from Jiwoo, but if that was what Sooyoung wanted, she was happy to do it for her.

Jiwoo nodded slowly, “Okay. Anything else?”

Sooyoung had something in mind, “I like it when you swear. I don’t hear it often.” She pursed her lips again when Jiwoo trailed her tongue ever so slightly beneath Sooyoung’s ear. “A-and... don’t ask me things. Tell me. Boss me around. When I say make me yours, I mean it.”

“I think I can manage that...” Jiwoo wrenched her grip slightly on Sooyoung’s wrists, showing her wordlessly that she was committed to her role, and that she truly didn’t have a problem with being rough. It wasn’t the first time she’d been in this role, but it had been a while. Sooyoung gasped quietly, almost losing her breath again right as she’d started to catch it. Jiwoo drew away, matching the older girl’s gaze again, the eye contact indescribably intense. “Trust me, I’ve thought of doing this _plenty_ of times.”

Sooyoung felt herself blush. “Oh?” She moved closer as if to kiss Jiwoo again, only to be restrained by the grip on her wrists keeping her still. Instead, she cocked her head coyly. “Prove it, then.”

The younger girl was more than ready to accept that challenge

She broke the small space between them and kissed Sooyoung again, rougher than their last one and endlessly more intense. Every time Sooyoung tried to regain some sense of control, to kiss Jiwoo harder, to move one of her hands so she could grasp Jiwoo’s jaw like she _so_ wanted to, she was held back. Restrained. It was starting to drive her crazy, but, unexpectedly, it also turned her on. Made her crave release, crave any sort of contact more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. She kept bucking her hips against Jiwoo’s waist, the younger girl still firmly straddling her, just desperately yearning for _anything_ Jiwoo would give her. Jiwoo snagged Sooyoung’s lower lip between her teeth and the older girl couldn’t help the small moan that left her from the small sting of pain.

Jiwoo could tell how worked up Sooyoung was getting, and she could also tell that Sooyoung was still trying to pretend she was unaffected. Like this turned her on less than it did. Jiwoo was having none of it. She was going to turn Sooyoung into a begging, submissive _mess_ that night, one way or another.

Jiwoo shifted her grip on Sooyoung’s wrists to instead clasp them with one hand, moving her free one down to rest her palm against the center of Sooyoung’s chest. The younger girl broke the kiss and Sooyoung couldn’t help but whimper from the loss of contact, instinctively leaning forward and trying to close the space that was created, but Jiwoo would just lean back out of reach.

“No. _I_ kiss _you, not_ the other way around.” Jiwoo told her harshly, loving the way Sooyoung’s cheeks flushed with color from her tone.

The older girl bucked her hips again, frustrated, “Jiwoo, _please_ touch me...” It sounded like more of a command than a plea, and that wasn’t allowed. Jiwoo was the leader tonight.

Despite knowing she should’ve scolded Sooyoung for trying to take control, Jiwoo wanted to touch her too. _God_ did she want to, she’d wanted to for _so_ long. Ignoring her role, she gave into the request in an instant, finally shifting her hand and pinching one of Sooyoung’s nipples. The older girl muffled a stream of curses by biting her lip, clenching her eyes shut, caught off guard by the intensity of her own reaction. That contact was barely anything, so why the hell was she so sensitive? Was it because it was Jiwoo? Was it from all the teasing? Or was it both? Either way, she felt herself throbbing, and all she wanted was some sort of _release_.

Jiwoo got rougher, losing her restraint, and kneaded Sooyoung’s breast as she honed her lips onto the entrancing curve of the older girl’s slender neck. Sooyoung was already panting, knowing that the grip on her wrists was weak enough now that she could break out if it and touch Jiwoo, but she didn’t. She wanted to listen. She wanted to just lean back and be taken care of, and as she felt Jiwoo place an impossibly light, fluttery kiss on her cheek, she made a conscious decision to stop resisting this. The older girl shoved away the lingering urge to take over, letting herself feel the softness of Jiwoo’s lips and the way that Jiwoo’s nails would occasionally dig into the skin of her chest from her roughness.

“Admit you were thinking of me fucking you.” Jiwoo practically growled into Sooyoung’s ear, falling more and more naturally into her role of dominance with every small whimper or gasp she heard leave her leader’s mouth.

For some reason, the older girl still found it difficult. But she hadn’t been asked, she’d been _told_ , and it made her whole body tremble. “I-I was...”

Jiwoo nodded, pleased, “Tell me what I was doing to you.”

Sooyoung was having a hard time focusing because Jiwoo’s firm kisses had moved from her neck and were trailing lower, slowly but surely. Taking the deepest breath she could manage, Sooyoung did as she was told. “You... h-had me pinned down to the bed, a-and—“

Before another word could leave her, Jiwoo was shifting their positions. Releasing her grip on Sooyoung’s wrists, she instead grabbed her by her sides and shoved her down _hard_ onto the mattress, resuming her trail of kisses as if nothing had changed. When the older girl got quiet, frankly having been stunned, Jiwoo’s dark, fiery gaze flitted up to meet hers.

“Did I say you could stop?”

Sooyoung’s heart skipped a beat as she timidly shook her head back and forth. “You... were— _ah—“_ Her words were cut off by a sharp gasp when Jiwoo’s lips wrapped around her nipple. “— _that_ , y-you we’re doing _that_ , **_fuck_**...” Knowing she couldn’t touch her but wanting desperately to entangle her fingers in her hair, Sooyoung just settled on tightly gripping fistfuls of her bedspread and involuntarily bucking her hips again. She felt Jiwoo smirk ever so slightly as she teased Sooyoung’s sensitive skin between her teeth, clearly loving how much of a mess she had made the older girl without much effort.

But Sooyoung still wanted _more_ , she _needed_ more. “You w-were t-teasing me,” Sooyoung forced out, worried that Jiwoo would stop her movements if she didn’t keep talking. Jiwoo slowly ghosted her hand down the older girl’s toned abs and hovering it right near where she knew Sooyoung wanted. “God, you were teasing me _so_ bad...” The younger girl looked up again, not surprised to see that Sooyoung had her eyes tightly shut, as if needing to just to focus on her thoughts and not on what was happening. That, or she was already so lost in ecstasy she could hardly open them.

Jiwoo chuckled mischievously against Sooyoung’s skin, making a subconscious decision that maybe she’d teased this poor girl enough. Without any more hesitation, Jiwoo brought her fingers back down to that bundle of nerves and rubbed a slow circle there.

Sooyoung jolted from the contact, sitting upright for a moment as her eyes shot open. Jiwoo reached up and shoved the girl back down onto the mattress by her shoulder, pulling her lips away from Sooyoung’s chest to tell her firmly, “Down.”

The older girl listened without even slight resistance, her back arching with a drawn out moan. Jiwoo liked the sound of it, maybe a bit _too_ much. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over again, “You’re so _fucking_ hot.” Sooyoung muttered, wrenching her vice grip on the sheets to keep her hands to herself. The intensity and passion behind Jiwoo’s gaze was overwhelming, _consuming_ , and it made a heat burn in the pit of her stomach that spread to the tips of her fingers. Sooyoung had been with more than a handful of people in her life, but she didn’t think she’d _ever_ been this turned on before.

Jiwoo kept rubbing those circles, holding Sooyoung as still as she could while she squirmed and gasped for air. “Say my name.” She moved, leaving more and more kisses on Sooyoung’s neck, her collarbones, all over her flushed, flawless skin. Her own heart was racing, beating hard against her chest. She still couldn’t completely believe that this was even happening, that she was doing this to _Sooyoung_ \- the girl she’d always watch, slack-jawed during dance practices, who she’d pined after for months on end. She bit down on Sooyoung’s shoulder again, revelling in the small whimper that earned her, “I want to _hear_ you,” The younger girl finally dared to slink her fingers lower, thrusting one up and into Sooyoung. “Say my name.”

It left her in a near-scream, “ _Jiwoo_.” Her hips bucked again, against the younger girl’s finger this time. Jiwoo had known she was wet, but it’d gotten even more intense after all the teasing they’d gone through. “ _Please_ kiss me.” That time it was a plea, and Jiwoo granted it immediately.

The younger girl had expected a rough, hard kiss, but it wasn’t. Sooyoung made it gentle, full of sentiment and tangible emotion that made Jiwoo’s already racing heart swell up to twice its size. Even though she wasn’t supposed to, and they both knew that, when the older girl reached up with a trembling hand and delicately traced her thumb along Jiwoo’s jaw, Jiwoo didn’t protest. She just let the butterflies engulf her entire chest, needing to put conscious effort into keeping herself steady and not shaking just as violently as Sooyoung was.

It was the younger girl who eventually broke the kiss, taking a deep, desperate breath, “No... no touching.” She whispered softly, head still swimming. Sooyoung looked intensely into her eyes, being able to tell that if she really wanted, she could take over this situation. She could bend the rules that had been set, she could do whatever she wanted and Jiwoo wouldn’t try to enforce anything. But Sooyoung didn’t want to do that. Instead, she slowly withdrew her hand and brought it back to her side.

Jiwoo moved again, kissing Sooyoung’s neck and picking up the rhythmic pace of her finger’s movement, making it harder, rougher. She had a feeling that was what Sooyoung wanted, and got confirmation when the older girl threw her head back and moaned again, long and guttural.

“Ahh... fuck, Jiwoo, that’s so _good_.” She covered her mouth with her hand, as if trying to muffle herself as best as she could. But Jiwoo didn’t want that. She wanted Sooyoung to be vocal, to be as loud as she needed to be, to _scream_ her name and to _moan_.

“Tell me you want it.“ Jiwoo demanded firmly, reaching up to clasp Sooyoung’s wrist and tug her hand away. 

“I want it.” Sooyoung whimpered desperately, without the slightest hesitation.

Jiwoo added another finger. It slipped in effortlessly, with Sooyoung bucking her hips in rhythm with every thrust the younger girl made. Jiwoo dug her nails into the small of Sooyoung’s back, still in awe at how impossibly silky her skin was. All she ever wanted was to feel it, to touch it. Jiwoo never wanted this to end, and although Sooyoung would be a bit more reluctant to admit it, she didn’t either. The older girl could barely think a single coherent thought besides how badly she _wanted_ this, how badly she wanted to listen, to feel even more. The ecstasy was frying her brain and burning up her whole body, something she’d felt before, but this was somehow _so_ different, and _endlessly_ more intense.

“Tell me how bad you want it.” Jiwoo whispered lowly, right into Sooyoung’s ear, before placing another kiss on her cheek.

It was hard for her to even speak now, words strangely intangible and out of her grasp, “So... _so_ bad, I-I love it, _please_.”

Jiwoo raised an eyebrow, slowing the pace of her fingers ever so slightly. Sooyoung whined in protest. “Please what? You want more?”

“ _Yes_.”

Jiwoo had something else in mind. Ignoring Sooyoung’s whines, the younger girl removed her glistening fingers entirely. Before there was any time for Sooyoung to question it, Jiwoo was already shifting down to place herself right between the older girl’s legs. Sooyoung’s eyes widened, realizing what was about to happen and knowing she couldn’t brace herself for it. But Jiwoo wasn’t doing anything. She was just hovering there, teasingly close. She was really going to drive Sooyoung insane. The two girls’ gazes met, and the contact was held.

Jiwoo only had one thing to say, another simple, unwavering command: “Beg me.”

Sooyoung took a few seconds to try and collect herself, blinking hard, struggling to catch her breath so she could think again, “I...” Jiwoo dipped her head ever so slightly, trailing her tongue just barely against that same bundle of nerves. “-- _ah!_ Jiwoo, please, _please_ , I-I need it.”

Jiwoo wasn’t going to make her suffer any longer, closing the small space between them and running her tongue along the spot Sooyoung needed it most. The older girl moaned again, rising up and almost off the bed, bucking her hips against Jiwoo’s face. “Holy _shit_ , Jiwoo, I-I--” The younger girl slinked her tongue inside Sooyoung, “-- _Fuck,_ oh my _god_...”

At first, Jiwoo had been gentle and slow with her motions, wanting to tease Sooyoung just a bit longer, even though she’d already dealt with so much. But she’d falsely assumed that she’d be able to prevent _herself_ from being rough and aggressive, from wanting Sooyoung to feel better than she’d ever felt, and wanting to be the cause of it. She wrapped her hands around Sooyoung’s thighs, digging her nails into those hips and not caring anymore if she left marks.

Sooyoung was losing all sense of inhibitions, forgetting everything, even the rules. When she felt Jiwoo’s tongue push itself deeper, she couldn’t help but reach down and bury her fingers into the tresses of Jiwoo’s hair, urging her head closer, craving more and more contact. Jiwoo forgot the rules too. Her head was swimming as she stared up at the pleasure so visible on Sooyoung’s face, at the rapid rising and falling of her chest. She felt herself becoming dazed as Sooyoung’s motions got more desperate and sloppy, the older girl practically grinding herself against Jiwoo’s tongue.

The older girl already found herself starting to lose it, knowing it hadn’t been long and feeling embarrassed but just not able to deny the feeling building up inside her. “I’m... I-I’m gonna--“

Jiwoo froze in place, removing her tongue altogether, “Don’t.”

Sooyoung took a deep gulp of air, trying to get herself together, but she was just so _close_. It was so hard to hang on, even after Jiwoo had stopped. “I...”

Jiwoo drew away fully, tugging Sooyoung’s hands from her hair. “We aren’t done.”

Sooyoung didn’t want to be finished either, but it wasn’t much of a choice for her at this stage. “I-I can’t last much--“

The younger girl moved back up, whispering sweetly in her ear. “You can hang in there, sweetie, I know you can.” All of her dominance and assertiveness had drifted away into nothing, resorting to what Sooyoung knew was her default - comforting and sincere.

It just reminded her of the reason she’d fallen for Jiwoo so hard already, and she broke the rule again, gently tugging the younger girl toward her by her neck and kissing her. Jiwoo responded in an instant, whimpering slightly when Sooyoung slipped her tongue past her lips. Although this night was strictly for Sooyoung, Jiwoo was already looking forward to when her turn came around.

She broke the kiss, consciously re-entering the role she’d appointed herself as she reached and pinned Sooyoung’s wrists back down onto the mattress. She hovered above the older girl just high enough for her lips to be out of reach, despite Sooyoung clearly wanting nothing more than to kiss her into oblivion. Jiwoo cocked an eyebrow at her, smiling smugly. “Like the taste of yourself?”

Sooyoung hadn’t expected that, the vulgarity catching her off guard and making her blush like a schoolgirl. She nodded slowly, enthralled by the intensity in Jiwoo’s beautiful eyes.

Jiwoo nodded knowingly, having expected that answer, and looked Sooyoung slowly up and down, taking in the view. Releasing one of Sooyoung’s wrists, she delicately traced her fingertips from the older girl’s hips up to her jaw, which she gripped tightly, their eyes meeting again, “Now... I want you to cum on my fingers.” Sooyoung was absolutely quaking from Jiwoo’s words and the lowness of her _tone_ , “You can probably manage that, can’t you?”

That was a given, but the older, uncharacteristically submissive girl made sure to answer, “Y-yes...”

“What was that?” Jiwoo pretended not to hear, already posing her fingers at Sooyoung’s entrance.

“ _Yes,_ Jiwoo, _please_ make me cum.” The plea had emerged from somewhere deep, somewhere Sooyoung hadn’t even known she’d had in her, but it was incredibly genuine. And it was more than enough for Jiwoo.

The younger girl shoved two fingers back into Sooyoung and thrust them in up to the knuckle, the older girl screaming in pure, unfiltered ecstasy from the contact. Jiwoo pumped those fingers in and out, adding a third and using her free hand to rub circles against that same sensitive bud, wanting to see just how fast she could push Sooyoung over the edge. She could tell by the way her leader clung to her, clawed at her back with no self-control, and whimpered her name over and over again with her coherency fading as the seconds dragged on that it wasn’t going to be much longer.

“Jiwoo, Jiwoo, Ji- _Jiwoo_ ,” Sooyoung dug her nails suddenly into the younger girl’s shoulder blades, causing pain that was numbed by vicarious pleasure, her back arching so much that she rose up and off the bed. Jiwoo felt the older girl’s whole body clench, those walls tightening around her fingers and then, finally, a release. “Ffff _ffuuck_.” Sooyoung gasped out, managing to suppress what would’ve been another scream by pursing her lips. Jiwoo held onto her gently, slowing the pace of her fingers and helping her ride out the waves of pleasure that hit her over and over again, the older girl’s body jolting a few more times before finally collapsing back down onto the mattress in an exhausted heap.

Jiwoo pulled her fingers out, finding herself out of breath as well, all of the dominance she’d felt fading the instant Sooyoung had reached her peak. Now all she wanted to do was curl up against the older girl, spoon her and shower her in endless affection. She moved, laying at Sooyoung’s side and turning to face the older girl, who stared up at the ceiling in a daze. When Jiwoo lazily rested her hand against the center of Sooyoung’s chest without much thinking, the exhausted girl gently grabbed her wrist and slipped the fingers that she’d used into her mouth, licking them clean. Jiwoo felt herself turn beet red, her eyes widening and her whole body tingling from the unexpected contact.

“I-I...” Jiwoo stared, irresistibly attracted to how spent Sooyoung looked, with her hair disheveled and her face still flushed. The older girl tugged those fingers out of her mouth, leaving them with a light kiss and instead loosely clasping that hand with her own.

“If the others weren’t coming back soon, I’d fuck you so hard right now you’d forget your own name.” Sooyoung practically growled, turning on her side to better face Jiwoo. There was a fire in her eyes, a fire Jiwoo knew the older girl had actively suppressed throughout that entire encounter.

Jiwoo nearly whimpered from that alone, but decided not to let her mind wander to where it was starting to go. Instead, she scooted slightly closer, craving contact still but not wanting it to be sexual quite yet. She was tired. She just wanted to be held and be close to Sooyoung, still processing that the feelings she’d harbored for such a long time were actually mutual. Sooyoung was experiencing the same thing, as well as an incredible gratitude. She understood what Jiwoo wanted without her needing to say a word, reaching closer and wrapping her sweetly in her arms.

“We... have some free time next week.” Jiwoo muttered shyly, her mind already running wild with thoughts and fantasies that used to seem so far fetched and were now practically tangible.

“We do, don’t we?” Sooyoung smirked, placing a gentle kiss atop the younger girl’s head, “Thank you, by the way.” She whispered to her softly, already gently stroking the younger girl’s hair, “I needed that more than I thought.” The tension she’d been feeling so constantly in her body had faded right after her orgasm, feeling like it had never been there in the first place.

Jiwoo smiled, nuzzling her nose against Sooyoung’s neck. “You don’t need to thank me. It was my pleasure.” 


	5. Turn On [YVESOUL]

“When’s this due again?” Sooyoung asked me, her head rested on her hand as she idly flipped a page of her notebook back and forth. We’d only just sat down at the library together, and it’d taken me a solid few days to lock her down to even meet up like this. She was pretty unavailable, always tossing relatively unbelievable excuses at me until she apparently ran out.

“The 27th.” I answered her, glancing over my absolute disaster of a planner to find that information. She sighed with a bored frown. I was bored too, obviously. I didn’t find biology too riveting, I never had, I’d rather jump out a window than be doing this damned project, but I couldn’t afford to get a bad or even mediocre grade on it. “We’ve got a few weeks, but the workload is pretty damn heavy, plus I’ve got three other exams to study for.” It was the hellish final weeks of the semester, and needing to work with a randomly assigned partner just added onto my stress and frustration. I’d literally just met her minutes before, but could already tell that we might very well butt heads. “We should probably meet up a few days a week, even if it’s just for a bit so we can--” I stopped suddenly when her bare, toned calf brushed against mine beneath the table, not having expected that contact or how warm her skin was. “--Uh,” I pulled my legs away, underneath my chair, assuming that’d been a fluke or something. _Damn_ her skin was soft. _Shut up Jinsol. Really not the time for that._ I scolded my brain, finishing the statement I’d started. “So we can catch up on what we’ve gotten done on our own time.”

I met her eyes. They were dark for some reason, and it made my whole body tingle ever so slightly. She was pouting at me from the tangent I’d gone on, clearly not wanting to hear all those logistics, “Ugh, this is so boring. It’s a heavy workload, sure, but the project isn’t too hard. Just excessive.” Her tone was dismissive.

I shrugged slightly. I mean she wasn’t wrong, the requirements were weirdly specific and demanded what seemed like way too much work for us. “Maybe it’s easy for you, but I’m almost failing this damned class.” Hell, I’d already failed it once. This was my second go at it, but I decided against mentioning that. It was sort of embarrassing. Science just wasn’t my strong suit, that was all. Okay, maybe college in general wasn’t my strong suit. Or the academics part of it at least.

She shot me a charming smile, “Awww. Dumb blonde, huh?” I glared at her playfully, but I honestly didn’t mind the teasing. I had a feeling she was like this to practically everyone, her cadence naturally sarcastic in a way that meshed well with how I usually bantered with my friends. Maybe we could be friends or something, after this was all done with. “It’s okay, the pretty face makes up for it.”

Whoa. My next breath almost got caught in my throat from that little compliment, but I didn’t let myself miss a beat. “Ha, well, my pretty face doesn’t get me good grades unfortunately.”

“I’m sure it gets you plenty of other things.” Her tone shifted, getting lower and sultry. Okay I definitely hadn’t expected this to take the turn that it had. But I wasn’t sure if I was complaining or not. I really needed to focus on this project, so now wasn’t quite the time to get all hot and bothered in the middle of this library. It was _damn_ hard to not take notice of how attractive she was though. It also didn’t help that she was wearing a shirt with a low cut, exposing her collar bones to me. I sorta had a thing for collar bones.

“I mean, I guess you could say so.” This wasn’t the time to flirt. I actively kept back the tone I normally would’ve used to respond to that, not wanting to be suggestive or to encourage her. “Anyway, what are some times during the week that you’re free?” I posed my pen over my planner, ready to write down whatever she told me so my dumb ass wouldn’t forget.

She didn’t answer my question, though. Instead, she tilted her head at me and narrowed her eyes, a smug smile gracing her features. “What’re the odds that the two hottest girls in our class got paired up together for this? Pretty slim, wouldn’t you say?”

I blinked at her a few times, “Who? Us?”

She nodded slowly, her eyes still narrowed in a way that was really making my body start to heat up. Okay, in that simple statement not only had she managed to compliment me again, but she also managed to show me just how confident she was in herself. She was right to be confident. I mean she wasn’t wrong, she _was_ hot. But where was she going with this? I could tell she was going somewhere with it, just from the coy look she still had on her face. “In fact, those odds are _so_ slim, I’d almost say it was like fate or something.” I chuckled weakly, shaking my head. “It’d be a shame if we didn’t do something about it.”

Wow. She was literally coming onto me right now. I stared at her hard, unable to ignore how fast my heart started to beat just from the thoughts that popped into my head from what she was suggesting. She had... a _really_ nice body, I’m a simple lesbian and noticed it as soon as she walked in. _Shut_ ** _up,_** _horny Jinsol. This isn’t the time. You need to collaborate on a project, not turn her into your fuck buddy._

If the circumstances had been different, there was no way in hell I’d be turning her down. But now? I needed to actually prioritize my grades for once, something that was pretty unheard of for me. “What we should do about it is the project we’ve been assigned.” I looked down at my notes, my pencil still held loosely in my hand.

Her alluring smile faded into another pout as she furrowed her brow at me. She was clearly disappointed. “You’re no fun.”

That wasn’t true. I was fun. I was really fun, I’d gotten into some absolutely chaotic antics these past few years, and oh boy did I have some stories that would make even her blush. I almost blurted them out from sheer defensiveness, but kept it in. Now wasn’t the time or place.

I took a subtle deep breath, successfully dissipating just how turned on that entire conversation had made me with a repetition of my earlier question. “When are you free?”

She leaned back in her chair, radiating _such_ intense big dick energy that I felt like it even rivalled mine. “For you? Any time.” She shot me a wink that nearly sent me over the edge.

Jesus. I really doubted my ability to keep myself from her. But grades were important. Passing was important. I kept repeating that sentiment over and over again in my head while she shot me a bunch of subtle winks and made more innuendos before finally leaving for a class.

xxx

“You still failing biology?” Vivi asked as she sipped her coffee idly. She’d been pulling all nighters a lot lately to get studying in. I wish I had that dedication but fuck that, I needed sleep. Even if I was failing biology.

I groaned, resting my head down on the table we were sitting at. It was just so frustrating. None of it clicked for me. “Yeah.”

Vivi shook her head at me, “You don’t want to retake that class _again_ do you? Get it together, dummy.” She reached forward and flicked my nose. I sat up straighter and shot her a glare, not appreciating the comment.

“I’m trying! If I get a good enough grade on the final project, I’ll just barely pass.” The stakes were high. It really wasn’t helping with my stress levels. I felt tense damn near all the time.

Vivi was only half paying attention to this conversation, scrolling through her phone with her free hand and not really looking at me. That was fine. “And how’s that going?”

I sighed heavily, “Not great, my partner won’t ever fucking focus on anything.”

“Ahh. You got saddled with a slacker? That’s unlucky.” She sipped her coffee from her straw, seeming incredibly disinterested.

It was natural to assume that, but no, this situation was a bit more... unique. “No, I don’t think she’s a slacker. She told me she’s acing the class.”

Vivi glanced up from her phone for a second, “How’s she acing the class if she won’t focus?”

That was a good question. She was so indifferent about the project, too. I wondered if she was one of those people who just understood everything effortlessly. God I hated those people. “I have no idea. She makes it hard for me to focus too.” That was a bit of an understatement.

It caught Vivi’s attention. I knew it would. She set her phone down and leaned slightly forward in her seat, and although she was drinking coffee I knew she wanted this tea more. “Why? Oooh is she hot? Please tell me she’s hot.”

I sat up straighter, smiling coyly at her. Might as well leave her dangling for a bit. “Why do you care if she’s hot, huh?”

She rolled her eyes, “Because that makes this _way_ less dry. I was about to fall asleep but if she’s hot I’ll get invested.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her, “God you’re such a lesbian.”

“Yes, we’ve known this, and?” She gestured with me to keep going, to give her more to work with. But I still wasn’t gonna give her the whole story right off the bat.

I teased my lower lip between my teeth, wiggling my eyebrows at her. She was pissed at me but it was fun to piss her off. I shrugged, feigning indifference, “She’s cute.”

She leaned even further across the table, even putting down her coffee. “Cute? Or hot? There is a distinct difference. Show me her picture, are you Facebook friends or something?”

I pulled my phone out, remembering how she’d made sure to write her instagram on a little piece of paper in my planner the last time we’d met up. I hadn’t looked at it yet, I’d restrained the urge. “Yeah, hold on...” I typed it into the search bar and pulled it up. It was private. Damn. Sighing to myself, I requested the follow, and only after a few seconds, she approved it.

Her photos all popped up and oh. _Oh,_ okay. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “UMM.”

“What?! Bitch lemme see!!” Vivi scooted her chair around the small table frantically to be at my side, and as soon as she saw those photos, she entered what I recognized was essentially a gay meltdown. “Holy _shit_. I-- uh??” They were all um, _really_ flattering. I sort of understood why this was private, some of them were uh... provocative. Wearing nothing on her chest but fancy bras, showing off subtle abs. She _definitely_ knew she was hot, and that somehow made her even hotter. “ _She’s_ your partner?? You get to see this girl, talk to her?? And you’re _complaining?!_ ”

I definitely hadn’t expected these photos. Or how fast she’d accept my request to follow her, almost like she’d been waiting for it. But I still hadn’t even told Vivi the juiciest part of this whole thing. “I haven’t even told you about the flirting yet.”

She slammed her hand down on the table, nearly shouting, “ _What?!_ You’ve been keeping that from me this whole time?!”

I suppressed a laugh, liking to push her buttons, “I was gonna mention it eventually. She’s pretty relentless.”

She looked at me, totally shell shocked, “ _This_ girl is flirting with you?! Why the hell aren’t you flirting back?!” She slapped my arm repeatedly, trying to take her rage out.

I raised my hands up in defense from her harmless assault, “I need to get a good grade on this!”

“Yeah well she probably can’t focus because she gets all horny when she’s around you!!” She insisted.

I shrugged, “What? No...”

She was having none of it, “Jinsol stop pretending like you don’t have just as big of an ego as I do.” That was valid. “She thinks you’re hot, cuz you are, so you’ve gotta get on that before I barge in on one of your study sessions and do it for you.” I rolled my eyes at her, but almost didn’t even think she was joking: that sounded like something she’d do.

I wondered if I should propose the idea I’d subconsciously been thinking of for a solid few days, despite knowing how Vivi would react. Might as well.

“Do you think if I hooked up with her, she’d focus on the project afterward?”

She nodded vigorously. I hadn’t expected any different. “It’s absolutely worth a shot.”

The more I thought about it as a genuine option, the less on board I was getting. There was just too many ways it could go wrong, and I hated when things got messy. “I... no, what if it gets awkward?”

“Then don’t make it awkward.” She took another sip from her coffee.

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, cuz I have total control over that.” She ignored my sarcasm and instead checked her phone for the time, starting to gather up her things once she saw it.

She sighed heavily, slinging her bag over her shoulder and getting to her feet, “I gotta go to my next class.” She started to walk off, but made sure to add one more comment, “Study up, and fuck that girl.”

I hid my burning cheeks behind my palm, “Oh my god.”

I still wasn’t convinced about what my plan would be. There were pros and cons to both options. Rational Jinsol was telling me to just get this project done as best as I could, but Horny Jinsol respectfully disagreed. They were pretty evenly matched, or at least they had been before I saw that damn Instagram and now that I had Vivi’s support.

So, I resorted to my usual, very mature tactic of avoiding any real decision-making. Whatever happened, happened.

Xxx

“Can we talk about something?” Sooyoung asked as she layed on my bed, staring up at the ceiling of my dorm room. I spun in my desk chair to face her, not knowing what she meant, and she tilted her head to stare at me. She was wearing tight jean shorts that fit her _really_ well, and I was having a pretty hard time not staring at how smooth her legs looked. Horny Jinsol wanted to touch them. Rational Jinsol held me in my seat. This conflict was giving me headaches. “I hate this quiet.”

She had a really short attention span. “If you started doing some work maybe you wouldn’t be so bored.” I snapped at her before spinning back to my desk. I was awfully sick of all the papers and open books I’d been staring at for a solid hour.

She scoffed over my shoulder, “For your information, I did do work. Yesterday. I found and summarized three sources, you’re welcome.”

Oh. That actually was a lot. But things didn’t really add up. “Why’d you come here if you didn’t have anything to do, then?” I didn’t bother looking back at her but I vaguely heard my blankets shifting so she probably sat up.

“Maybe I wanted to be around you. I like the view.” She’d changed her tone again, making it sultry and low. A chill shot up my spine, and I pursed my lips, glad my back was turned.

I needed to change the subject. “If you want some noise you can play something from my laptop.”

She sighed, probably frustrated by the lack of reciprocation to all the flirting. Surprisingly she wasn’t getting discouraged, because it wasn’t stopping. I wasn’t sure if I was happy about that or not. I glanced over my shoulder to see getting to her feet and grabbing my laptop from my dresser. I couldn’t help but watch the way her hips moved when she walked, and I needed to blink a bit to snap myself out of it, forcing my gaze back to my stupid, boring papers.

She plopped back down on my bed with an adorable “oomph,” and presumably started to look through my playlists. Good, maybe that’d distract her for a while. She may’ve gotten a lot done the day before, but I had to work way harder to be successfully productive.

“What’s this one?” She asked curiously. I spun in my seat to look at what she was referring to and my stomach did a little flip.

There was no real point in hiding it. Honestly, knowing her she probably already knew what it was and was just being a brat. I mean, the name was just a bunch of squirting water emojis. It wasn’t hard to figure out.

I did my best to keep a blank expression. I wasn’t ashamed of it or anything. “That’s my sex playlist.” My tone was surprisingly casual and nonchalant. I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Both of her eyebrows raised up, seeming genuinely surprised, “Your what?”

I didn’t miss a beat, “My sex playlist.”

She just stared at me, her jaw slightly dropped. I couldn’t really read her expression. I was surprised _she_ didn’t have a sex playlist, I mean, I was sure she’d have many occasions to play it.

Finally her head tilted and her eyes narrowed, “So you have sex to this?”

I thought it was pretty self-explanatory, but if she needed more explanation she could have it. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” Her reaction was making me start to question if this was more weird than I considered it to be. Vivi had a sex playlist too. I thought everyone did.

Feeling a slight need to defend myself, I said one more thing before turning back to my papers, “I like ambience.”

“I guess.” Okay, she seemed pretty unamused.

  
“Do you not?” Unfortunately this conversation was making it nearly impossible to keep my attention on the reading I had to do. It was sort of pointless to even try.

  
“No. Usually things are a bit too intense when I have a girl over to go and turn on some smooth jazz.” Oh, okay. That was closer to the response I’d expected.

I sneered subtly, “It’s not smooth jazz, ew.”

“What is it then?”

“Play it, why don’t you?” I’d suggested that without thinking. Did I really just tell Sooyoung to put my sex playlist on when we were alone, in my room, and she was wearing those damn _shorts_? God I was an idiot.

She didn’t respond verbally, instead I just heard what I recognized instantly as the first song on the playlist. It was Shhh by Seventeen. A good song. But... it wasn’t helping with the urges I was trying to keep down. All it did was make me think of nights I’d brought girls back to my room. Ahh, jeez. I nursed my lower lip between my teeth and clenched my pencil more tightly. The air was shifting tangibly. Getting heavier and more dense.

I was starting to assume that she wasn’t going to say much else, but was wrong. “Do you have any chapstick?”

I took a subtle deep breath to compose myself and reached into my desk drawer, pulling some out. I rolled my chair closer to the bed and placed it into her outstretched hand. Her fingers were long. I blinked hard at that thought and mentally scolded myself for it. I knew I should’ve rolled back to my desk, gotten more distance between us just to be safe, but something held me to my spot. Horny Jinsol _really_ wanted to watch her put that chapstick on.

She didn’t look away from my eyes the entire time she was applying it. My legs felt like jelly and I felt my body getting hot. The damn song wasn’t helping anything either. Once it was on, she ran her tongue along her lips and oh my god. This was... uh, getting out of hand.

She set my laptop down next to her and scooted to the edge of the bed, closer to me. Oh no. Her gaze slowly looked me up and down, an impossibly alluring smirk on her face, “Aren’t you hot? There’s no A.C. in here...” She looked at my clothes, like I should take off a layer or something, but I was only wearing one layer. I just shook my head weakly, not quite trusting how steady my voice would be. “Well, I think it’s getting kind of hot in here. Maybe I should take something off.”

_Oh_ -kay, whoa whoa, I needed to shut this down. Rational Jinsol kicked back in finally, just barely, and I spoke up quickly, “Uh, no. I can get you a fan if you want,” I started to scoot my chair away, needing some distance, and she watched me.

She frowned, “No, that’s fine. Sorry if I’m coming on too strong. Guess I got carried away with all your sex music.”

I sighed slightly to myself, really just trying to regain some composure. “Uh, yeah... maybe you should turn it off.” I suggested firmly, rolling my chair back to my desk. I thought that’d be the end of it. But boy, was I wrong.

It seemed like she only hesitated a second before she responded to that, “Aww, but won’t that turn you off too?”

I felt my whole body practically turn to stone. I curled my toes and clenched my fists from her smug, cocky tone. She was _definitely_ a top, but so was I, and if something did happen I wasn’t gonna switch. So she’d have to. The question was if she would or not.

_Shut up Horny Jinsol, nothing’s gonna happen._ Despite thinking that in my head, it sort of sounded like Rational Jinsol’s last stand. Deep down I knew that Horny Jinsol was about to fully take over. Sooyoung’s tone and those looks she kept giving me and just how damn _confident_ she was was making me absolutely lose my mind. Honestly I was sort of amazed I’d rebuffed all her advances relatively well thus far. My mind was getting really off track, conjuring up images of those Instagram photos of her in that lace maroon bra. Was she wearing it then? God I hoped she was. My body was starting to tingle.

My lack of a response encouraged her even more. I didn’t shoot a dismissive remark back at her, I just went dead silent and stared straight ahead. “I can tell you’re turned on.” Goddamn it why did she have to make her _tone_ like that? It made me want to... do _so_ many things.

I pursed my lips, shutting my eyes. “I...” What? What was I even gonna try and say?

“Don’t try to pretend. You can’t even handle looking at me.” I couldn’t stand how smug she sounded, so I tried to prove her wrong by spinning in my seat to look at her with as blank a face as I could manage. Her nearly predatory expression morphed back into a cocky smirk once I did, “You’re blushing.”

If anything my cheeks only got warmer, but I forced a shrug and glared weakly at her, “Yeah, and? I only ever really hear these songs when I’m about to fuck a girl, so...” She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me, seeming very intrigued by what I’d just said. Jesus. I think she knew she had me in the palm of her hand but that sorta pissed me off. Girls didn’t usually get to me like this, it was more often the other way around. “It’s like conditioning.”

She chuckled slightly, “Wow, okay Miss Psych major.”

I rolled my eyes, “Just turn it off, please? We have to work, or at least I do.”

She finally faltered slightly from how serious I’d forced my tone to be. The fire behind her eyes dimmed. “Right.” Her tone wasn’t sarcastic that time. Oh, was she actually gonna listen to me? I hesitated, not turning to my desk quite yet because I was curious to see if she was going to pull something else. Sure enough, she was.

She did in fact reach over to the laptop, and for a fleeting moment I thought she’d shut the music off, but instead she just picked a different song. It was Move by Taemin. Uh-oh. I stayed glued to my seat. She scooted back to the edge of the bed and fire was in her eyes again, more intense than it ever had been. Nobody had ever looked at me like that. I knew my face fell, I couldn’t help it, and I wondered if my blush got even worse because I could feel how hot my body was getting.

For the short opening of the song before the beat really kicked in, she just _stared_ at me, eying me up like a piece of meat. I did my best to not grip the arms of my chair, but I felt like I had to just to keep myself seated. The air was _so_ fucking thick and _heavy_. I didn’t want to show her how much she was getting to me, because I knew that was just what she wanted. But as soon as that beat kicked in, and she stood up and started swaying her hips to the rhythmic snaps? Fuck. I was losing my goddamn mind.

She stepped closer, and closer, and _closer_. I didn’t move. I just couldn’t force myself to. She reached me just as the chorus hit, and in what seemed like the next second, she was on my lap. My breath hitched audibly, and that time I really did grip onto the arms of my chair with white knuckles. She straddled me, her breaths drawn out and audible and _low_ , right in my ear. Fuck. I wanted to touch her more than I’d ever wanted _anything_ , but I knew that was what she wanted. She wanted to get to me, and although it was working like a fucking charm, I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction if I could help it.

Her hips hadn’t stopped moving. I was _very_ aware of the way her waist was grinding slowly against my lap, but I was adamant on keeping my legs closed. She stared at me with those goddamn eyes of hers, her smirk having faded and being replaced by what I could only think to describe as unfiltered lust. She teased her lower lip between her teeth, shifting the way she sat so that she firmly straddled one of my thighs. _Oh_. I gripped more firmly onto my chair, wanting to grab her hips and pull her against me and give her some friction, but she beat me to it. With a small hitch of her breath she slowly dragged herself along the length of my thigh, letting out an airy, low moan. Her eyes never moved from mine.

Holy shit.

My hands moved, hovering by her hips, but I somehow managed to just barely restrain myself - stopping them and leaving them to hang in that dead space. Her body was so warm, I could feel the heat coursing into me. She repeated her earlier motion, breaths getting uneven. They were hot against my neck. She was whimpering and gasping and Jesus Christ, I don’t know if she knew that was one of my weaknesses but it sure as hell felt like she somehow did. I was gonna lose it. I was gonna grab her, touch her, absolutely blow her fucking mind in a few seconds if she didn’t stop.

“Ah...” She gasped weakly right in my ear, daring to actually brush her impossibly soft lips along it, “ _Fuck_...” The curse left her as she dragged herself against me harder than before, the yearning in her voice finally pushing me over the edge.

I grabbed firmly onto her hips, slinking my fingertips past the tight waistband of her shorts and digging my nails into the skin there. Her back arched at the contact I was finally giving her and she let out a high pitched breath. Her petite hands moved to my sides and she grabbed fistfuls of my t-shirt’s fabric, tugging me closer when we were already flush against one another.

She pulled back, meeting my eyes again, and this time I knew that mine must’ve matched the intensity of hers. She almost looked taken aback, but if anything it was pleasant surprise. I pulled her hips hard against my leg, raising it up to apply even more pressure and watching the way her eyebrows slightly upturned from the sudden contact, another small gasp drifting past her lips. I wanted to kiss her. She was mere centimeters away from me, every slight moan and hitch of breath hitting my skin and driving me further over the edge. Yeah, there was no way I was coming back from this.

I leaned forward, to finally capture those lips with my own, but she edged slightly back. Oh, this brat. That cocky smirk of hers came back ever so slightly at the teasing, but I wasn’t having it. I brought one of my hands up, digging it into the back of her hair and pulling her to me.

She shuddered and I felt it. I don’t think I’ve ever had a kiss that intense. I couldn’t help but moan slightly from the contact, my heart beating like a fucking sledgehammer. She was a _good_ kisser, which I’d expected, but that on top of everything else - the music, her perfume that smelt like roses, the soft skin of her legs, her small whimpers and her fingers wrenching their grip on my shirt - I was almost lightheaded. I felt her teeth snag my bottom lip hard, and I whimpered, wanting more of that. More of _her_.

I grabbed the hem of her tight fitting tank top and started to rip it off her. She broke our kiss for a moment to pull it up, past her arms, and as soon as her chest was exposed to me I leaned closer and paid those _damn_ collar bones some much-needed attention. She was wearing one of those lace bras I remembered from her Instagram. Fuck. I dug my fingers into her skin, raking my nails along it, leaving red a trail of red scratches in their path. She muffled another curse through clenched teeth, her fingers entangling themselves into the tresses of my hair. She pulled my head harder against her chest, urging me to do more without needing to say a single word.

I curled my fingers around one of the lacy cups of her bra and yanked it down to expose one of her breasts, my mouth finding her nipple in an instant. I felt those fingers still in my hair clench into a tight fist, her grip so hard it hurt but I didn’t care. Her hips started to grind of their own volition against my thigh again, still subconsciously moving to the beat of the song that filled the room along with our heavy breathing. I teased the small, pink bud between my teeth, which was when I felt something. Her free hand had stealthily slinked down to my jeans, trying to clasp the zipper there and undo it. But no, she didn’t get to do that. _I_ was the top here. At the _very_ least, she was cumming first.

I moved both of my hands, hooked them beneath her thighs and leaned forward, out of the chair. She gasped from the sudden movement, but didn’t have much time to process it, because the next second she had her back pinned flat against my carpet. Her instantaneous, almost instinctive reaction was to grab my t-shirt and tug it over my head before I could even think. I let her, feeling like we should be on even ground by this point, but held her down when she tried to kiss my neck. I took one brief moment to stare at her, at how fucking _hot_ she was and how it was only amplified now, with her lidded eyes and flushed skin. I’d left what I knew were marks on those collar bones and I was glad. I wanted her to remember this. She seemed barely able to catch her breath, but hell, I was right there with her.

I couldn’t wait any longer, not having it in me to tease her anymore because it sort of felt like I was teasing myself in the process. I wanted to make her _scream_. Mere seconds after I’d suddenly shifted our positions, my thumbs hooked into the belt loops of her shorts and I pulled them down _hard_ , so they pooled around her ankles. She watched me with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly as I positioned my head between her legs. Of course her panties matched her bra. Why would I ever assume any different?

I pushed the pesky layer aside and didn’t hesitate to slid my tongue inside her. She yelped, not at all having thought I’d move so fast. She sat up initially, her legs wrapping around my torso and her fingers returning to wrap themselves in my hair. She pulled me harder against her, my tongue angled to go even deeper. She was _really_ wet, something that actually did catch me off guard. For all her talk and cockiness, it seemed like I’d worked her up pretty damn effectively. Good.

“Fuck, fuck, Jins-- _ah-- Jinsol_ ,” Her motions were getting frantic, uncoordinated and desperate. I felt her nails clawing at my scalp but I didn’t care, didn’t register any pain whatsoever. I was pretty in my element. This wasn’t my first time eating a girl out, far from it, but there was something different about this. All the tension and the flirting and the innuendos just made me want to put Sooyoung in her place and show her that she didn’t always get to be the seducer. I wanted to show her that I could be “fun,” which she’d doubted in the past, and that I’d been pretty actively restraining a _lot_ of pent up urges this entire time. It wasn’t that I hadn’t been attracted to her, or that I was a prude or anything, it was actually because I wanted to _so_ ** _badly_**.

I shifted my position, moving to focus on her clit which I absolutely hadn’t forgotten, and a moan so high-pitched and loud tore from her throat that it may’ve been classifiable as a shriek. Her heels dug into my shoulder blades and she threw her head back, finally falling back down to the carpet from her sitting position. Whatever shreds of her inhibitions that were left were totally flung out the window by that point and she was panting, groaning, _begging_ me. I stared up at her, at the ecstasy so clearly visible on her face and I basked in it. Vivi was right, I did have a pretty huge ego, and this was _definitely_ inflating it.

I felt her tightening around my tongue, those fingers digging further into my hair and pulling it, her ankles digging into my shoulder blades as her entire body seemed to contract. She was close. Desperate and sloppy. God it was so fucking hot, I was losing my mind.

Right toward the end she started talking, actually speaking coherently in a frantic, jumbled mess, “Oh god, yes, _fuck_ , ah--!” She teased her plush lower lip with her teeth, holding back what might’ve been a scream, but she wasn’t done quite yet. She was hanging on by a thread.

I flicked my tongue against her clit, slipping three fingers easily inside of her, but then just held them there as I drew my face away. She let out a drawn out whine, panting, and opened her scrunched up eyes to stare at me with what I could only describe as betrayal. I cocked an eyebrow at her and smirked, “What? Thought I wasn’t gonna pay you back for all that teasing?” I tried to sound as slick as I felt, but honestly I was almost just as out of breath as her. She was probably the hottest girl I’d ever fucked and the sentiment of that wasn’t at all lost on me. Plus all of this was just really intense, and if I was gonna try and pretend like I wasn’t honestly just as worked up as her, I’d be a whole ass liar.

She pouted and whined pleadingly again, her fingers that were still in my hair trying to tug me back against her, but I stayed put. I could tell how badly she wanted it, I mean, it was written all over her face. I tilted my head at her, but before I could even try to muster another snarky question, she was already speaking up in a husky, desperate whisper, “Please fuck me, please, _please_.”

Whoa. I definitely hadn’t expected her to be reduced to such a begging mess so fast. Yep, my ego was fifty times the size, but I was also done teasing. This poor girl was about to explode, and although she had absolutely been a brat, I could only let her suffer for so long. What can I say, I’m a giver.

Maintaining eye contact the entire time, I pulled my fingers back out, only to thrust them back in right up to the knuckle. Her body jolted like she’d just been given an electric shock. She yelped, and I’d thought she would’ve lasted for longer, but she came right then and there. As if wanting to be courteous, she bit down hard on her already bruised lower lip to keep back what I knew would’ve been an outright scream, her fingernails digging deep into my scalp and sending stings of pain through my skull. I didn’t even care, just letting her buck against my fingers and dig those heels into my shoulders and ride out her long-awaited orgasm as I tried and failed to catch my breath.

Finally, she seemed to deflate. She fell flat onto the carpet and stared up at my ceiling, dazed with lidded eyes. I pulled my fingers from her and licked them clean, as I typically did, and I saw a faint blush rise to her cheeks from the motion. I hadn’t really expected it to faze her.

She ran her palm briefly down her face, “Fuck...” Her chest was still heaving and I couldn’t help but stare at it. I mean c’mon, I’m just a lesbian. There was what I realized was the early onset of a hickey setting in on one of her breasts and I wondered if it’d feature on her instagram in the near future, or if that was too risque for her to broadcast. I nearly rolled my eyes at the thought. “Too risque” and Sooyoung didn’t seem to fit in the same thought.

I’d started to assume as the seconds slowly wore on that she was too spent to return the favor, which although disappointing, was okay. Not to sound too braggy, but I was sort of used to that. I was definitely worked up though, so she’d probably have to leave so I could do the job myself. Right as I was contemplating what I should say next, she was suddenly sitting upright and flush against me again. I couldn’t help the small noise of surprise I made when her lips found the side of my jaw, or when her teeth already started to leave nips and marks along the sensitive skin there. My back arched instinctively into the contact and she sensed it somehow, sliding her hand to rest in the curve of it smoothly. This was more of the behavior I’d expected from her - absolutely effortless synchronicity and fluidity with anything sex related. I mean she just exuded that confidence and familiarity with the concept, her flippant flirting seemed so incredibly second nature I could only naturally assume she did this all the time.

In what seemed like the next second, I was being pressed into my own carpet by her weight on top of me. My breath was taken from me from the sudden aggression, but I wasn’t at all protesting. I think she could tell I liked it rough, and that I was sick of her damn teasing. If she so much as hesitated for even a moment I was gonna beat her ass. God, I just wanted her to relieve some of this damn _tension_. It was weird. This was uncharted territory for me. I wasn’t normally this much of a bottom, not at _all_ , but I swear I’d never wanted anything more than for her to just fuck me as hard as she could, and she could somehow tell that without me needing to say a single word.

In an incredibly respectable power move, she pulled back to stare straight into my eyes, inches from my face, right as I felt one of her soft, slender fingers slide past the waistband of my jeans and the layer beneath it, thrusting straight into me.

“ _Ah_ ,” I gasped out weakly, my brow crinkling up. Damn this eye contact was fucking intense. I almost wasn’t sure if I could maintain it, but some dumb part inside of me felt like that was admitting defeat. So I stared right back at her, not caring if I was a panting, blushing mess (which I was). Her response was to rest her forehead against mine, getting even closer than before. I could feel her breath against my lips and I wished she would kiss me, but I could somehow tell without even trying that she’d teasingly pull back if I tried, so I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

She wanted more of a reaction. She wanted me to be just as desperate for it as she had been. The next second, I felt two more fingers thrust in along with the first, and a wave of absolutely mind-numbing pleasure felt like it melted my brain into a fucking puddle. I nearly rose up and off the carpet, but her weight kept me pinned. My lips edged closer to hers from the motion, though, and she dared to catch my bottom one between her teeth and tug. I winced slightly but Jesus Christ it felt like I was gonna burst into flames. I could feel heat emanating from her body too, but I wasn’t sure if it was just mine spreading to her, I was burning up and away into nothing.

The pace was uneven and I knew she was doing it on purpose just to make me go crazy. This was absolute torture. She reached with her free hand and lifted up my thigh, shifting my lower half to get a better angle and thrust those fingers in even deeper somehow. My hips bucked on instinct and I whimpered, keeping back a full on moan. I was still restraining myself for some reason, and Sooyoung’s intuition once again sensed it, because she wasn’t having it.

“Stop holding back.” She whispered demandingly, our eye contact still not having broken.

I took a deep, trembling breath, and somehow managed a coherent retort, “I will when you do.”

One of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows arched curiously at the prevailing banter, probably not clearly not having expected it. But the meaning of my comeback wasn’t at all lost on her, and for once, hell maybe for even the first time, she actually stopped her relentlessly teasing.

Next thing I knew, those fingers developed such an intense, fast, absolutely _relentless_ pace, thrusting in and out of me so roughly it must’ve fucking sprained her wrist. I couldn’t help but shut my eyes at first, waves upon waves of indescribable pleasure making me nearly see white. I cried out incomprehensibly, my hands shooting up to wrap around her back and dig my nails into her perfect porcelain skin. I left what I knew must’ve been marks, but I wanted to mark her. I wanted her to remember this. My hips haphazardly tried to match her seemingly unreal pace as they met each one of her fast thrusts, every thought I was having and ever would have absolutely consumed by her and the sensations consuming my entire body.

“How about this?” Her voice snapped me out of the incomprehensible gibberish that was the horny mess of my thought process at that moment, “Is this what you wanted? Huh?” God she was so fucking cocky, something that would’ve annoyed me literally ten minutes ago, but at that moment it was for some reason only hot to me. Her damned husky whispering almost drove me over the edge all on its own, but I kept it together. At the very least I needed to last longer than she had.

Something in me took over as I nodded weakly, and the faint confirmation was surprisingly enough for her. She stopped her pestering and actually shut up, a true miracle, letting me focus on the absolutely overwhelming sensations instead of her persistent teasing.

Her fingers curled abruptly and hit a spot I hadn’t even known I’d needed them to hit, and I dug my fingers deeper into her skin, “ _Ahhh_ , there, _there_ , **_fuck_** _...”_ I stopped trying to filter myself, the closer I was getting to the edge, the less I gave a shit about the competitive top in me trying to somehow be dominant when Sooyoung was literally on top of me. She was definitely getting more of a kick out of it than I would’ve liked, but if she tried to hold it over my head I could just remind her of her absolutely desperate begging mere minutes before. That’d probably shut her up. If not then I’d just fuck her again.

  
“Where?” Her fingers relentless motion stopped for a second and I groaned in frustration, “Here?” The loss was short lived, because with that one knowing question she’d shoved them back in, curling them in just the right way she knew would hit that same spot.

“ _Yes_ , h-holy _shit_ \--” I was practically gasping for air, finding it hard to even catch my breath at this point. I could tell that I must’ve literally been dripping onto her fingers but I didn’t care, couldn’t really care at that moment. All I cared about was how _good_ this felt. I’d had a lot of good sex in my life, but god, something about Sooyoung fucking me on my carpet that day just blew my mind into absolute smithereens. It must’ve had something to do with all the tension and teasing that led up to it - I wasn’t used to that sort of thing. This felt weirdly cathartic somehow, on top of feeling fucking amazing.

Something else slipped past my lips as my filter grew less and less effective, “S-Sooyoung-ahhh, _fuck_ you’re so _hot_.” I raked my nails up and down her back as a sort of coping mechanism to prevent myself from finishing, not wanting to be done yet.

She chuckled coyly, though it was relatively validating to hear that she was short of breath too. “You think so?” I nodded vigorously against her shoulder, her thrusts inside me having become less intensely fast and more deliberate, deep, and slow. Either way I was more than happy. “I mean, you’re hot too. I tend to have high standards.”

I couldn’t coherently respond or even process that, because her unoccupied thumb had started to rub circles against my clit. I moaned embarrassingly loud, the sound tearing its way from my throat and coming from somewhere deep. Her lips left open-mouthed kisses against the nape of my neck and my shoulder, clearly wanting to push me over the edge and doing a damned good job of it. I did my best to keep it together, to hold it all in for longer, but every second was absolutely killing me. God, why did she have to be so _good_ at this?

She teased my earlobe between her teeth before muttering lowly, “Are you gonna cum for me?” I let out a whimper I couldn’t keep back, feeling her smile against my skin, “I want you to scream, baby.”

Baby?? Oh my god, I was getting goosebumps from this bitch. It was like she had a personalized list of the things that would get to be and she was just waiting to bust each and every one of them out.

“Can you scream for me?” She practically purred into my ear, the request so strangely polite that I couldn’t help but nod in response to it with another needy whimper. Wow I’d never been this much of a bottom in my life. I hadn’t thought it’d be possible, but here we were.

And boy oh boy, did I scream.

It hit me fast, almost out of nowhere it seemed like. Her fingers hit that same spot one last time and her thumb rubbed another fast circle against my clit, and just like that I was seeing stars. A scream tore its way from my throat and I didn’t swallow it down or even try and keep it quiet, just letting it fill the room as my body jolted over and over again. She didn’t stop moving her fingers, keeping them pumping but only slowing their pace to a gradual, gentle halt.

It took me a minute or so to come down from that. It was probably the most intense orgasm I’d ever had in my life, and I’d had quite a few. I still clung to her, my nails deep in her skin as I caught my breath. Hers steadied before mine did, understandably, but she didn’t pry me off or try to get up - just letting me recuperate with a surprising patience.

Finally, I took a long, deep breath and felt myself deflate. I pulled my hands from her and instead used them to straighten out my hair. She drew back to match my eyes again, though the contact was far less intense than before. Instead, as soon as our eyes met, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips that was surprisingly contagious.

“What’re you so fucking smiley about?” I asked her as I suppressed a chuckle. The bitch started to giggle adorably, hiding her face in my neck again.

“This song.” She muttered almost inaudibly. I’d almost forgotten that music was still playing. I listened for a moment and heard that it was Curve by Sunmi. What was so funny about that? “I auditioned for a company with this song like, yesterday. And I just fingered you to it.” She kept on giggling, and I was right there with her.

“How’d the audition go?” I asked her as she sat up, still straddling me.

“Oh, that? Probably not as good as this did.” She shot me a wink that almost made me blush. I was glad the sentiment was mutual. This definitely had gone well. I did my best to just roll my eyes at the comment, still smiling all the way. She got back to her feet and offered her hand to me, “Careful, you might not be able to walk.”

“Oh shut up--” As a form of protest to her snarkiness I’d stood up a bit sooner than I actually was ready to, and I staggered ever so slightly. She absolutely noticed. “Don’t you say a fucking word, I’ll beat your ass.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Ooh, kinky?”

I shoved her shoulder, laughing again, “Shut up, oh my god.”

She shrugged earnestly, retrieving her shirt from wherever the fuck I’d thrown it and slipping it back on. Damn, her back was scratched all to hell. I decided against mentioning it, leaving it as a surprise for her to discover on her own later. “I’d be down.”

“Oh I’m sure you would be.” I took the initiative of turning off my sex playlist, as it didn’t quite seem fitting anymore.

“Maybe some other time?” There was the slightest tinge of hopefulness to her words, a sentiment that caught me off guard. I turned to look at her, but she was avoiding eye contact by pretending to look through her notes.

This bitch. Unbelievable.

I sat back down at my desk chair, smoothing down my clothes. “We’ll see.”

We wound up getting the best grade in the class for our project.


End file.
